Ren and Della by Pepper Winters

Author:Pepper Winters
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Pepper Winters, usa today bestseller, contemporary romance, coming of age, new adult, sad stories, epic love story, friends to lovers, family saga, romance, general romance, best love story, Romantic Suspense, sweeping love tales
Publisher: Pepper Winters
Published: 2018-07-21T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWELVE

DELLA

* * * * * *

2018

DAMMIT, THE APARTMENT still smells of him.

I haven’t been here in so long, but the moment I opened the door, it felt as if I’d never left.

It feels lived in.

I was expecting dust bunnies and cobwebs, but the floors are freshly polished and the corners neatly clean.

I know I said I wouldn’t write to you again, assignment, but I had to tell someone.

I think I might have to go see a professional. Admit I have a problem. Talk to a doctor, maybe.

This level of delusion can’t be real, can it?

I feel him watching me. I prickle for no reason. I stiffen at the slightest noise. I believe, no matter how insanely impossible, that he’s close by.

And now this?

I truly am losing my mind.

My bed was made when I came home, and I swear I left it a mess.

The bathroom smells like tropical disinfectant, not the faint must of mould that lingers in the grout around the tiles.

How is that possible?

Why do I keep deluding myself this way?

He’s gone!

He’s gone!

I need someone to scream that in my face and then maybe the folded threadbare towels will make sense, or the fact that if I stand still and inhale, my nose fills with his woodsy, wild scent instead of stale passing of lonely time.

I smell him.

And I don’t know what to do anymore.

I came here to put things behind me, yet everywhere I turn, the past keeps dragging me back.

I haven’t said it out loud since he left—not that I ever said it out loud—but sitting here in my bedroom that Ren helped decorate, looking around the apartment Ren helped make a home, I can’t pretend anymore.

I’m still in love with him.

Even more than before.

I’m still furious at him.

Growing hotter by the day.

And I’m afraid.

I’m so afraid I’ll never be able to get past this, that my future is a merry-go-round of prickled skin for no reason, smells of Ren in the air, and the unnerving sense that he hasn’t truly gone, after all.

Maybe he died out in the forest, and his ghost is haunting me.

Maybe this is what everyone goes through when they lose someone so damn special.

Either way, I can’t do this anymore.

I came here to burn you, and that’s what I’m going to do.

And then, I’m going to sell every piece of furniture and leave.

I can’t be in this town another moment.

Screw my creative writing course. Screw being brave. Screw lying. Screw everything.

I can’t do it.

I can’t stay.

I’m running...just like he did.

It’s finally time to say...goodbye.

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