Palace of Desire by Naguib Mahfouz

Author:Naguib Mahfouz [Mahfouz, Naguib]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: nepalifiction, TPB
Published: 2011-10-17T20:15:32+00:00

91

HE SEEMED not to exist anymore. She ignored him so totally that it could only have been by design. He first realized this a week after he had spoken with Hasan Salim on Palaces Street, when he met his friends Friday morning at the gazebo in the gardens of the Shaddad mansion. They were all conversing when Ai’da arrived as usual, accompanied by Budur. She stayed for a while, chatting with this one and joking with that one, without paying any attention to Kamal. Initially he assumed his turn would come. But when he grew tired of waiting and noticed she did not want to look him in the eye or at least was avoiding his glance, he abandoned his passive stance and commented on something she had said in order to force her to address him. But she kept on talking and ignored him. Although no one else appeared to have noticed his abortive maneuver, because they were engrossed in what the beloved was saying, that did not soften the blow he had received without knowing what could have provoked it. Since he was predisposed to deny what had happened to him, he hid his suspicions. He began to watch for opportunities to try his luck again, though he was extremely apprehensive. When Budur attempted to escape from A’ida’s grasp and waved her free hand at Kamal, he went to take the little girl in his arms. But Ai’da dragged Budur closer to her, protesting, “It’s time for us to go”. Then she said goodbye and retraced her steps.

Oh, what was the meaning of this? Ai’da was annoyed with him and had come for the sole purpose of displaying her anger. But what was she blaming him for? What sin had he committed? What lapse, great or small, washe responsible for? Sneering at logic, anxiety shattered the certainties of his world.

At the time, he was able to gain firm control of himself so that his worn es would not be exposed. He knew how to keep hishead and plaved his normal role to perfection, concealing from his friends’ eyes the impact of this crushing blow.

After the gathering broke up, he told himself it was best to face the truth, no matter how bitter. He would have to admit that A’ida had deprived him, for one day at least, of the benefits of her friendship. There was a tiny recording device in his loving heart, and no whisper, thought, or glance of the loved one escaped it. This mechanism even detected her intentions and could anticipate events still remote. Let the cause be whatever it was or let there be no cause - as though this was a disease defying medical treatment in either case he felt like a leaf ripped from the twig by a violent wind and cast into an oozing heap of refuse.

He found his thoughts hovering around Hasan Salim, who had ended their conversation with the words: “If I ever need to, I can always make her defer to me”.

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