Other People's Lives: listen carefully - watch closely - trust nobody by J.E. Rowney

Author:J.E. Rowney [Rowney, J.E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: psychological, domestic noir, thriller, psychological thriller
Publisher: Little Fox Publishing
Published: 2022-04-21T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY

Jack.

I hadn’t planned on telling Thacker anything about your little indiscretions, but somehow, he gets these things out of me. My sessions are about me, not you, but the more I talk about my issues, the more I seem to say about you.

Jane (I know you hate me calling her that, but you’re not here and I can say what I like now) doesn’t take up much of my thoughts now. She made a huge effort, after she came back from Arkhangelsk, to be friendly and kind and sympathetic. Imagine that, after everything that happened? She was the last person I wanted to see, but when she came over, she was so perfectly kind and gentle, I almost felt guilty for the resentment I’ve had towards her for such a long time. Almost.

When I first became suspicious of you and her, I gradually started to see signs that you were lying to me. All those evenings you worked late, all the times you were away when you couldn’t connect to video chat with me. No internet signal, sorry Sophie, no can do tonight. All the times I pictured the two of you together. There’s no way of knowing the truth now. Whatever the two of you did, I don’t know when it started, and I can never be certain that it ended.

I know it has ended now. That’s the only certainty I have.

Jane came round here, two days after she returned from the tundra, full of sympathy and platitudes. You know the type of thing. If there’s anything I can do for you, call me anytime.

In the nights following, I sat in front of the muted television at three in the morning, watching silent loops of dismal programmes with the accompanying sign language. I watched the men and women sign their way through property shows, reality TV, whatever was on. It was them and me, night after night. Once I even thought about learning sign language myself, making it my new career. Of course, you know how my stupid ideas end up.

Anyway, one night I thought about testing her offer. Anytime, she said. Anything. Yes. Tell me all the details. Tell me exactly what happened between you and my husband. Tell me why he chose Arkhangelsk and you over home and me.

Tell me where he is now.

Do you know?

Do you know?

I can still picture the scene, as it would have run out. Me, sitting in my pyjamas, screaming down the phone, while she lay in her dark bed, somewhere across town, somewhere that you had probably, once, twice, many times, lay with her.

Do you know where he is, Jane?

Do you know?

It’s never crossed my mind to question whether it is Jane that I see in every shadow, whether it could be her stalking me, watching every move I make. Do you want to know why, Jack? She has her own life.

Jane, whatever I think of her, is an independent, self-assured woman. I don’t think she could care less about what I am doing.

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