Open Heart by Elvira Lindo

Author:Elvira Lindo [Lindo, Elvira]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Other Press
Published: 2023-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

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I’m forced to play many roles. With Amanda, I feign experience, in the Party I try not to be a petty bourgeois, at home sometimes I forget all that and sit down to watch a movie with my mother as I did when I was a girl. We watch it holding hands. I feel a long-lost peace. Then I get into her bed for a while; it’s not my father’s bed anymore, they sleep separately, and we talk about things that have nothing to do with the outside world. We focus on the film, on the actors, on the plot. My mother likes Gregory Peck. She talks about him as if she knows him. She thinks he’s not just a great actor, but a good man. She must imagine he comes home on time. Not like some men. My mother doesn’t go out much. She’s always afraid her heart will start racing. The afternoon she went with my sister to see the film Cría cuervos, she came home sad and wouldn’t tell me why. My sister told me what the movie was about: a girl who thinks she has superpowers, and her dead mother, who wasn’t taken care of as she should have been by the girl’s father, appears to her at night. For me, it’s obvious that my mother sees me in that girl, and it’s hard for her to accept me as a fifteen-year-old, she liked me better before. She’s thinking about when I’ll be an orphan even though it hasn’t happened yet, and it makes me suffer, because I can’t stop growing, getting uglier, pulling away. My old powers of turning her despair into joy stopped working a long time ago.

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