Needing To Fall by Ryan Michele

Author:Ryan Michele [Michele, Ryan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ryan Michele
Published: 2016-01-23T16:00:00+00:00

I woke to the shower running. I couldn’t believe I had slept the whole night through without waking up even once. In the hospital and even here, I couldn’t get through the entire night. By some miracle that night, I had. I didn’t know if I had Lynx to thank for that or the overwhelming feeling that there was some good out there.

I tossed the covers off and went in to the kitchen to make some coffee. Andi was always good at setting the thing up, so all I had to do was push a button, and it would start brewing. She knew me so well, probably better than I knew myself at times.

I sat at the small table, holding my cup of Joe in my hands, feeling the warmth hit me all the way down to my toes. Then I took my meds just as Andi came out, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, her blonde hair damp from the shower.

I had an instant tightening of my nerves. I had almost forgotten about needing to talk with her, but judging from her not so perky face, it needed to be done. Andi didn’t do un-perky. No, she was always happy no matter what. Seeing her like this … I needed to make that go away.

“Come and sit,” I told her after she had gotten her coffee.

She sat across from me, her eyes focused on her mug.

“Is there something you want to say to me?” I asked, trying to get the ball rolling. After all, it wasn’t going away, so I needed to face it head-on, even if it scared the living shit out of me.

Her pained eyes caught mine. “I just …” a tear streaked down her face, cutting my heart to shreds. “I thought that you and I had something.” Her words were soft and hushed, like she wanted me to hear them yet also didn’t.

“I didn’t know, Andi,” I responded, her eyes coming to mine. “I’ve been locked in myself for so long it was all I could think of. I didn’t see it.” I sucked in a huge breath and gathered whatever strength I could muster. “You’re my best friend in this world. I’m so sorry, but I don’t have those feelings for you.”

Another tear streamed down her cheek. “I get that now. I can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but it’s on me. I made us out to be something we weren’t. I’m sorry about that.”

“I didn’t even know you liked women,” I confessed.

She shook her head. “It only started in the last few months before you went to see Drew. I should have never told you to go and find him.” The dam broke.

I moved to her, wrapping her in my arms as she cried, the pain so evident it hurt me.

“I’m sorry. So, so sorry,” she cried.

I brushed her hair as I held on tightly. “I hate to say it, Andi, but you did the right thing. Yes, I know Drew’s alive, and I haven’t forgotten about him, but he’s happy with a family.

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