Mr Darcy's Guide to Courtship by Emily Brand

Author:Emily Brand
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mr Darcy’s Guide to Courtship
ISBN: 9781908402837
Publisher: Osprey Publishing

N B. It is perfectly possible for a woman to be interested in both your breeches and your wallet – such a one may be called a false-hearted prostitute.

LOCATING ELIGIBLE FEMALES

In Town & Country

ARMED with this knowledge about identifying a suitable female, you are now permitted to sally forth into the public arena to select her.

Men of great standing, such as myself, need not expend much effort on this exercise – eligible females will be eager to seek out your company. Whenever you intend to grace a neighbourhood with your presence, simply let it be known that a bachelor of a remarkable fortune is soon to be among them. The locals will instantly feel compelled to fashion their daughters into a semblance of politeness, hopefully sparing you the horror of rustic manners in all their crudeness. Interested families with varying pretensions to elegance will conspire to annoy you, but mastery of the precepts found in chapter II will enable you to spot the riff-raff, and ignore them accordingly.

Some gentlemen are in the habit of making excursions with the particular intention of examining the local females and contemplating the possibility of making one his wife. If you meditate such a scheme, consider the gentility of your destination and amend your expectations to suit.

Thus:

1. When visiting town, take care to fall into the correct circles. In public places it is quite easy to find oneself suddenly lost amidst a fry of urban wretches, who shoal from all the unheard-of holes of the city and suburbs, apparently with little more pressing intent than that of revolting their betters.

2. Persons who haunt coastal resorts such as Brighton and Ramsgate are to be regarded with strict suspicion. Proximity to the seaside incites even sensible persons to loose behaviour.

3. Bath is generally insufferable on account of being populated almost solely by silly girls and the sick.

4. In general, one has not great hopes from Birmingham.

5. On visiting the country be prepared to tolerate much less varied, and usually rather uncivilised, society.

6. The northern provinces of England are generally considered wild and uncouth, as are the majority of its females.

7. Similarly, ladies of foreign birth tend to exhibit a distasteful lack of feminine reserve, and occasionally fail to observe basic standards of hygiene.

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