Melancholy I-II by Jon Fosse

Author:Jon Fosse [Fosse, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

ÅSANE, EVENING, LATE AUTUMN, 1991:

he, Vidme, is walking through wind and rain, in the dark, he is a writer, mid-thirties, and now he is walking down the pavement in his old coat and he thinks that it must be hard to tell him apart from the rain and the darkness, in his grey coat, under a black umbrella. Vidme walks down the pavement, bent forward against the wind and the rain, he turns his face half to one side, away from the street that a long row of cars is driving down, a row that never becomes one car after the other, Vidme thinks. Vidme sees, even when he turns his face away from the street, that the headlights of the cars gleam on the tarmac, wet with rain. Vidme walks on and he thinks that he will have to say his name and then simply state his business. He has to do it. Because he, Vidme, a man in his mid-thirties but already with slightly greying hair, feels that he has found something important enough to make him change his life, he came to the conclusion that through his writing he has arrived at something important, something he has to nurture in his future life, and that is why Vidme is walking in the wind and the rain and he thinks that all his many years’ work as a writer have somewhere along the way taught him something important, something few people know about, he has seen something not many other people have seen, Vidme thinks, as he walks in the wind and the rain, because you isolate yourself after all, in isolation you work yourself deep into something, and if you want it enough then you get far enough inside, deep enough inside, and you can see something most other people haven’t seen, and what he saw, Vidme feels, as he walks in the wind and the rain, is the most important thing he has ever figured out in all the many years he has spent almost every day sitting and writing. Vidme feels that his work as a writer has led him further and deeper into something that in certain moments, in happy hours of clear-sightedness, he has recognized as a glimmer of the divine, but both glimmer and the divine are expressions Vidme simply cannot stand, if he didn’t dislike these expressions so much he might say that he saw a glimmer, had an experience he can’t lie his way out of, an experience that may seem ridiculous, it is ridiculous, for Vidme as well as for most other people, but in some glimmers, if he could use that term, Vidme, a fairly unsuccessful writer, prematurely aged, has gotten it into his head that he was in close proximity to what he would have to describe, with an expression he would never dream of writing, as the divine. That is why Vidme is walking down the pavement now in wind and rain. But the divine, not to mention God, are expressions Vidme simply cannot bring himself to use.

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