Married to a Brownsville Bully 3 by Jahquel J

Author:Jahquel J [J, Jahquel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Urban Chapters Publications
Published: 2018-07-11T04:00:00+00:00

10

Yolani

Being clean was a gift and a curse at the same time. A gift because I haven’t felt this clear-headed in a while and a curse because I was forced to deal with all the skeletons I had shut into closets over the years. Big Ben wasn’t playing when he said that he was going to get me clean. The only bit of sunlight that I was able to get was from the sun room. Food was brought in to me and all my treatments were brought to me. At first, I thought it was going to be hard to sit in the house and not go out, but it had been stress free. For once, I didn’t have to worry about running each time my phone rang or neglecting myself to make sure that the product still moved. Pit Pat was between here and Yoshon’s house. Me and her being under the same roof was driving me crazy. All she did was clean and ask if I was okay or craving crack. My drug of choice was never crack, so I didn’t understand why she continued to keep asking me if I was craving the shit. Big Ben stayed over some nights and then went back to his sister’s house on other nights. For the most part, it was usually just me and the sober coach Yoshon hired.

He was a white man that was divorced and into God, heavily. He had kids and they split custody so he was gone on the weekends and that’s when either Big Ben or Pit Pat stepped in. Sometimes I felt like a child who couldn’t stay in the house alone at night. The only piece of the outside world I received was when Hazel came or my therapist. Having Hazel come see me meant everything to me. It felt like when we were just friends. It wasn’t complicated; words just flowed and nobody felt any ill feelings toward the other. I had to admit, knowing that she wanted to give her marriage a chance hurt a nigga’s heart a bit. I also had to remember that I fucked up what we had, not her. So I couldn’t blame her for wanting to give her child something healthy to come into the world to.

Revealing that I had a son to her felt like a brick was lifted off my chest. It was something I had held from her for years and to finally be able to reveal the truth to her set me free. They weren’t lying when they said the truth shall set you free. After telling Hazel about my son, I knew I was ready to tell Pit Pat and Yoshon about him too. If Hazel was understanding and could sympathize with me, then I knew they would see the reason I did it. No one had to agree with me giving my son up, but I asked for people to respect it. What could I give him? The streets was my baby and he would have come second.

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