Mall Child by Greg Dunn

Author:Greg Dunn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Greg Dunn
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Uncle Butch was nursing a brandy when he recalled his favorite bumper stickers. “One said ‘University of Saigon’. Must be a Vietnam Vet.”

“How about the one that said ‘College of Hard Knocks’? Obviously someone who had been there, done that.”

“Last but not least, there was the ‘Starfleet Academy’, obviously a Trekkie.”

Everyone got a chuckle from the humorous ones. However, the increasingly crusty Callahan observed, “There’s an uptick in stickers of angry people venting about a politician or spewing venom over their favorite issue. I remember when campaign stickers used to be positive endorsements about a candidate. Now they spew poison at each other.”

“Not to mention promising the world before the election and delivering nothing afterward,” added Uncle Butch.

“They can promise all they want,” said Callahan. “I’m more worried about the ultra-angry, ultra-frustrated bumper stickers. Mark my words, they’re the predictors of a mass shooting. I’ve been patrolling parking lots for over fifteen years and I don’t like what I’m seeing.”

Another night of doom and gloom, thought Sammy but he kept his mouth shut, having learned years ago that it’s unwise to interrupt Callahan once he jumped on his soap box.

Dinner was finished but unlike most households where members scatter once the food has been wolfed down, members of the Callahan clan lingered, savoring dessert, discussions, and liquor. Maggie placed a plate of freshly baked brownies in the middle of the massive oak table with the admonishment to, “Save some for tomorrow.”

Callahan’s kitchen was a mixing pot of visitors of all ages and perspectives. Claire nicknamed the kitchen “the bus depot”. Regulars had their own designated cups, mugs, and beer steins. Maggie, the queen of the manor, had her teacup displaying the Korean flag. She purchased tchotchke from every gift shop she frequented. This cup was a fond memory of the day she and Sammy brought themselves up to speed on Korean history and culture when they visited the Korean Museum in New York City.

Uncle Ralph waited for the head of his Sam Adams beer to settle in his commemorative Tom Brady retirement stein. Ralph was a loyal New Englander through and through. All his teams were Boston based and he was not one to jump ship during losing seasons. Staring into his amber brew, he said, “Some bumper stickers beg the question, so what? Take, for example, the ones that say, ‘This car climbed Mt. Washington’. All that tells me is that it tacked on a whole lot of useless miles.”

“Yea,” said Uncle Butch who added, “who cares if your car went ‘south of the border’.”

“And what about the ones that tell you ‘My kid’s an honor student’. OK, I’m happy for you and your kid but what’s this got to do with me?” said Ralph, still harboring resentment about not going to college.

“I’m a glass half empty type of guy,” said Callahan as he refilled his own glass of Guinness. “Now Claire, she’s a glass half full gal.”

“You got that right, I try to focus on positive stickers like LOVE, PEACE, JOY.

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