Lying Awake by Mark Salzman

Author:Mark Salzman
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781400077755
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2003-12-15T16:00:00+00:00

At the end of her first day at Carmel, humbled by the depth of the Great Silence, Sister Helen went into her cell, undressed, and crawled under the serge sheets. They itched against her skin.

The day had gone smoothly. In choir, she had not lost her place or made any noise during page turns, and she managed to sing in tune. She could sense the others’ approval even without looking at them; one tone-deaf nun could turn communal praise into a daily scourging.

Now she stared up at the ceiling, pleased to see that it was not slanted like the ceiling of her old bedroom. All of the lines in the room were ordered, symmetrical, even. She had no regrets about leaving the world of her childhood behind, but wondered what sort of cross God had in mind for her in this one. Would it be boredom? Loneliness? Fear? She’d read A Nun’s Story; she knew that religious life wasn’t for everyone. The silence and austerity could drive a woman to despair. Sometimes even those with genuine vocations failed God’s test.

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