Losing My Religion by William Lobdell

Author:William Lobdell [Lobdell, William]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Religion, General, Biography & Autobiography, Personal Memoirs
ISBN: 9780061877339
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2009-03-17T08:08:44+00:00

Doubt. It seemed to have sneaked up on me. The closer I approached the rite of initiation into the church, the more I became aware of this new sensation. It had nothing to do with God (I thought), but I did begin to waver. Was this the right time to be accepted into the church? If I went through the rite, would it be a slap in the face to the survivors who had courageously stepped forward? Converting to the Catholic faith was something that I kept quiet. No victims would know that I had entered the church. But I would know. And it started to feel, deep in my gut, like it might be the wrong thing to do.

Still, I firmly believed the institution would emerge from the scandal reformed and humbled, and I took some advice from a friend who said, “Keep your eye on the person on the cross and not the men behind the altar.” This was God’s church, not man’s. And it was never going to be perfect, given the sinfulness of man. That the church was flawed shouldn’t stop me from joining other faithful Catholic for worship, Communion and a fulfilling spiritual life.

I sought solace in the belief that a church’s heart was in the pews, not the pulpits or its administrative offices. I loved the Catholics and soon-to-be Catholics in my conversion class. I’d rarely been around a nicer group of people. They had showered me with love and even gifts—CDs featuring Gregorian chant and rosary beads from Our Lady of Lourdes in France. I was certain that the people reading about the scandal would recoil and, in the end, recapture God’s house. I pushed aside my doubts about becoming a Catholic.

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