Lelia by George Sand

Author:George Sand [Sand, George]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Page 157

Poetry returned to inhabit my brain; but, misleading, it took on other colors, crept in in other forms and decided to embellish things that I had believed until then without luster or worthless. I never thought that indifference inactive for certain aspects of life should inspire me to eagerness and interest in things once

unnoticed. This is what happened to me; regularity, that

I kissed like we put on a hair shirt, became good to me and soft like a soft bed. I took pride in

contemplate this passive obedience of a part of myself and this prolonged power of the other, this holy abnegation of matter and this magnificent reign of the calm will and persistent.

I used to despise the rule in studies. In me the imposing in my retirement, I flattered myself that my thoughts would lose their vigor. They doubled in strength by getting better organized in my brain. By isolating each other others took more complete forms; after having wandered for a long time in a world of vague perceptions, they developed by going back to the source of everything and took a singular energy in the habit and the need of research. This was my greatest misfortune; I arrived at skepticism through poetry, doubt through enthusiasm. So the systematic study of nature also led me to praise God and blaspheme him. Previously I was only looking in his works as the feeling of admiration; my complacent poetry repelled the hideous excesses of creation or strove to put them on a dark and wild grandeur. When I began to look more closely at nature, at the return under its various faces with a cold look and a impartial description thinking, I found more ingenious, more learned, more immense the genius which had presided over the creation. I knelt penetrated with a more lively faith and, blessing the author of this new universe for me, I begged him to reveal himself again. I continued to learn and analyze; but science is an abyss that we should dig with caution.

When after having examined with intoxication the magnificence of colors and shapes that contribute to the

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