It's All In the Playing by Shirley Maclaine

Author:Shirley Maclaine [MacLaine, Shirley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-76509-3
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 1987-06-14T16:00:00+00:00

This session with Chris was a powerful one for me. It put me in touch with why I was feeling guilty about other people’s negativity, and it also enabled me to feel free to release some of my own pent-up feelings, to neutralize my frustrations. As the shooting proceeded I didn’t explode in temperamental anger or anything like that. I just expressed what I felt while working. If I felt depressed I didn’t bother to camouflage it. If I was pissed off I found a humorous way to let myself say so.

At first I found that people were somewhat startled at seeing that my emotional life was not always peaches and cream. But as a result they were more certain of where they stood with me. If I needed more light on my face to reveal tears in my eyes, I said so to Brad. He appreciated the interest. If Charles Dance wanted to change a line we had written, I would listen, but if it didn’t sound right I wouldn’t let him do it. If Anne Jackson, playing Bella, wore a dress that looked more like Anne than Bella, I changed it. I wondered sometimes if I was indulging in a power trip. I wondered if I sounded superior; if I had forsaken my democratic way of working. But no, it didn’t feel like that. It felt as though I was taking charge of my own responsibility, which, as I looked back, was probably related to the lifetime that came up for me on the table—the lifetime in which I had not.

The morning after my session with Chris, a school of dolphins swam past my bedroom window. And that afternoon the pain in my back disappeared. On New Year’s Eve, Sachi and Colin and I went to a small party attended by people in our business who were spiritual seekers themselves. Twenty of us sat around an oval table; a crystal was passed to each of us and we expressed in words what we would like to manifest in our lives for the following year. The open and direct honesty was heart-glowing to witness. But when the crystal came to me I found myself expressing an understanding that for me was true, but for some of the others seemed outlandish.

I began by saying that since I realized I created my own reality in every way, I must therefore admit that, in essence, I was the only person alive in my universe. I could feel the instant shock waves undulate around the table. I went on to express my feeling of total responsibility and power for all events that occur in the world because the world is happening only in my reality. And human beings feeling pain, terror, depression, panic, and so forth, were really only aspects of pain, terror, depression, panic, and so on, in me! If they were all characters in my reality, my dream, then of course they were only reflections of myself.

I was beginning to understand what the great masters had meant when they said “you are the universe.

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