His Deepest Desire by Xander Collins

Author:Xander Collins [Collins, Xander]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Xander Collins

11

Stephen

* * *

I had made dinner plans with Mark and Landon for that night, but after talking to Jake I really didn’t feel like going. I was still reeling from everything he’d just told me. It was all so much. The miscarriages, and the fact that he was most likely carrying my baby. But most of all, that he was still in love with me. That he had been all along. I just couldn’t get that off my mind.

But I had been looking forward to seeing their son, Trevor, all week, so I kept the date.

"Landon wound up wolfing down the rest of the leftover barbecue the next day. Almost four pounds of leftover ribs and hot dogs. I was surprised he’d be up for more so soon, but he’s got a whole new batch of meat out on the grill. I hope you’re in the mood for some foot long Polish sausages," Mark said with a big grin. I smiled back at my brother, but I was having a hard time concentrating on anything he was saying. Jake’s words were playing over and over in my head and the sadness in his eyes was haunting me.

Even back when we were in medical school he’d talked about starting a family. Maybe through adoption or surrogacy since Jake was a beta. We both loved the idea of a house full of kids, but we also knew there was no way we could even begin to think about it until we were out of medical school at the very least. Then there were three to five years in a residency with one-hundred hour, and more, work weeks, so waiting until that was over to start a family was the only thing that made sense.

Knowing that Jake went through so much pain trying to do something he wanted so badly really stirred up a lot of feelings inside me. Feelings that made me realize that the anger I’d been feeling toward him for years was really hurt. And no matter how bad I’d felt over all this, seeing Jake hurt was much worse.

I finally snapped out of my thoughts and glanced across the patio table at Mark. “Yeah, that sounds fine," I said as I mindlessly bounced Trevor on my knee.

“You look like you’re a million miles away. What’s up?” Mark asked.

“I don’t know,” I said with a sigh. “Things have been a little crazy at work lately. Maybe it’s all just catching up with me.”

Landon announced that dinner was being served, and as he brought a giant platter of charred sausages to the table, I slipped Trevor into a bouncy chair. I was glad that the subject had been dropped, but only for a moment. As soon as we all filled up our plates with salad and corn and sausages, Mark started in with the questions again.

“So, what’s going on at work?” Mark asked. “Is it Jake?"

I looked up at my brother and raised one of my eyebrows. “How do you know about Jake?” I asked.

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