Guiding Your Child Through Grief by James P. Emswiler

Author:James P. Emswiler [Emswiler, Mary Ann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-42073-2
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2000-03-17T16:00:00+00:00

The Anniversary of the Death The anniversary of the death may also stir up strange feelings. Not only will it remind you of your separation and new life, it may also bring back a flood of memories about the death itself. You may recall in graphic detail that day that changed your life forever, and many of the old, intense feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness may briefly rise again.

Older children who remember the anniversary of the death may become more sullen, quiet, or removed as the day approaches. Younger children probably won’t have a clue about the actual date unless you tell them or they pick up that something’s wrong with the general family mood. But they may associate a season or a particular part of the year with the death, like Stacy, whose sister died just after school let out. Even though Stacy doesn’t remember the specific date of her sister’s death, the ending of each school year reminds her it’s coming close.

Since most children will not remember the date of a loved one’s death, you may want to remind them and ask if there is a way that they would like to observe the anniversary. If they wish to participate somehow, that’s great. If not, that’s okay. Don’t force them to participate. They may want to observe the day in their own way. It doesn’t mean that they’ve forgotten or that they’re not sensitive to the loss. You can observe the day in your own way as well.

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