God's Favorite by Lawrence Wright

Author:Lawrence Wright
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

CHAPTER 14

DO YOU THINK men would be different if they were not raised by women?” Tony asked. It was getting dark outside and twilight shadows crept across the bedroom.

“Have you had another fight with Felicidad?” César asked as he returned carrying a tray of cheeses and a bottle of Fonset-Lacour.

“Worse.”

“Carmen? Really? Well, honestly, I’m not surprised.” César set the snack tray on the bedside table.

“They can program us because they are our mothers and they have all the control over our lives. Something they do, you know; it’s like hypnosis. We’re under their spell. This is despite the fact that they behave irrationally and often have strange odors.”

“Men aren’t so perfect, either.”

“She complains that I won’t marry her, then she threatens to leave me.”

“I think she has a right to expect commitment on your part, one way or the other. She’s been very loyal, and look what you’ve put her through.”

Tony took a slice of cheese from the tray and chewed it contemplatively. “In an ideal world, of course, I would marry her. She is the only woman I love. But I have made a commitment already—I’m a married man.”

“How do I fit into that?” César asked as he poured them each a glass of wine.

“This is not exactly infidelity,” said Tony. “It’s a completely different relationship.”

César laughed. “You have the morals of a rubber ball. Why do you even bother to justify yourself? You do what you want anyway. You used to tell me that we should rid ourselves of all morality.”

“I still believe it is the responsibility of the man in power to act in his self-interest and not out of some idealistic notion of right and wrong. The ruler can never know what is absolutely right. He can only know what he wants. History is filled with examples of the harmfulness of moral actions.”

“I’m not talking about matters of state, Tony. I’m talking about getting a divorce and making an honest woman out of Carmen.”

“The people would not stand for it. I suppose it is a sacrifice on my part, an act of penance, perhaps. The people expect their leader to behave loyally to his wife in public, no matter what. It’s unreasonable, but there it is.”

“Shit, Tony, if you’re going to do penance, try giving something up for the Colombians. These guys live by a code, you know. You hurt them, they kill you. Maybe you can get rid of Escobar and the Ochoas, but they have cousins waiting in line. You’ll never get another peaceful night’s sleep. I’m telling you as a friend. You can’t double-cross people like that, Tony. You go too far.”

Tony thought about that for a moment. “You know, all my life people have been saying this to me, that I go too far. But I keep going and going. And I never get to this place, ‘too far.’ Tell me, where is it? Can we see it from here?” He laughed and gulped down another cheese cracker.

“Okay, do what you want,” said César.

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