Gay Love and Other Fairy Tales by Dylan James

Author:Dylan James [James, Dylan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Deep Hearts YA
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

• • •

BENJAMIN: Jordan?

BENJAMIN: I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. Or if you never want to talk to me again. But I wanted you to know that I came out to my parents today. They know I’m gay.

BENJAMIN: I don’t know how you did it. You’re so strong. I really look up to you.

I open my curtains and look across the space between our houses. Jordan’s curtains are closed and his light is off. I look down toward the first floor — their dining room is below Jordan’s bedroom — but the lights are off down there too. Maybe he’s not home.

I sigh and throw myself back on my bed and scroll aimlessly through my phone. Every few minutes, I check back in my text thread with Jordan to see if he’s read my message or if he’s typing a response, but there’s nothing. Anxiety rises in me and I struggle to keep it at bay; this long silence is eating away at me, even if I know that “unread” means he hasn’t even seen it yet.

Part of me hopes this is my chance to get Jordan back, to repair all that’s gone wrong between us. Maybe it’ll lead to me kissing him again. I hope it does.

There’s a soft knock on my door and then it’s pushed open. Dad pops his head in.

“Hey, Ben … you got a minute?”

“Yeah,” I say. I sit up in my bed and put my phone facedown on the nightstand. If I keep it in my hands, I’ll be obsessively checking it.

Dad comes in and he closes the door, then comes and sits on the bed. He puts his hand on my feet. “I wanted to say again, son, that I love you and your mom loves you. You being gay doesn’t change that in the slightest.”

I’m suddenly able to stare only at my thumbs as I twiddle them in front of me. Dad and I don’t usually have such heart to hearts and I’m still not quite used to this gay thing. It’s all too much.

When I don’t reply, dad says, “Anyway, I just wanted you to know. And I wanted to thank you for trusting us to tell us.”

I still can’t reply and I still can’t look up from my thumbs. Dad lets out a sigh and stands up. Just as he’s about to walk away, I blurt out the question that’s been burning on my mind. “Dad … back at Wendy’s the other day … you didn’t want me hanging out with Jordan because he’s gay. But now you’re okay with me being gay.” Okay, maybe it isn’t a question. But it’s what’s been bugging me.

Dad sits back down on the bed. He balls his hand into a loose fist and bumps it against my knees. He’s feeling awkward, I can tell. There’s something he doesn’t want to say.

“Are you really okay with me being gay?” I ask. I’m not sure if I want to know the answer.

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