Ferrara by Swan T L & Swan T L

Author:Swan, T L & Swan, T L
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: T L Swan
Published: 2022-02-26T00:00:00+00:00

Francesca

I make my way through the restaurant and Marcel stands as I approach, he kisses me on the cheek. “Hello.”

“Hi.” I smile as I sit down.

“You look beautiful.”

“Oh.” I try to deflect the compliment. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” He forces a crooked smile.

An awkward silence falls between us.

We both go to speak at the same time and then both stop ourselves. “You go first,” I offer.

“I don’t know why we broke up, but I want to repair our relationship.” He grabs my hand over the table. “Please tell me we can.”

“Marcel.” I let out a deep exhale.

Damn it.

“I have issues.” I sigh. “And it’s not fair to bring them into our relationship.”

“Like what?”

I stare at him as I try to think of a kind way to let him down. How the hell do I do this without hurting him?

“Is it something that I did?”

“No.”

“The proposal…we can wait. If you’re not ready for marriage then that’s okay.”

My heart drops and I squeeze his hand in mine. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I should never have accepted your wedding proposal…but.” Oh God, this is the worst. “You asked me in a public situation. What was I supposed to do?”

“Say no.”

“I would never humiliate you like that.”

“You would just leave me after I had told everyone I know that we were engaged.”

“I’m so sorry. I wish I could turn back time, I would’ve handled things so differently.”

“How?” His eyes hold mine and I can tell he’s holding on to his temper by a tiny thread.

“I didn’t realize we were anywhere in the marriage kind of spectrum. We had never talked about it, we didn’t even live together.” I shrug. “We only saw each other on the weekends.”

“Because we were busy,” he snaps in an outrage.

“No, it wasn’t that at all. We had no urgency to see each other. I know you don’t see it now, but you don’t love me the right way either.”

“You don’t love me?” He gasps out loud as if surprised. “You really don’t love me?”

The people sitting at the tables around us are beginning to look over as they eavesdrop on our conversation. I have no idea why they’re listening; this conversation is a complete nightmare. I don’t want to hear it myself…and I’m in it.

“What I’m saying is,” I say softly, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore and I didn’t realize this until you proposed to me. Instead of feeling excited, all I could feel is panic and that it was wrong. I shouldn’t be like that, and you….” Words fail me. “I’m just so, so sorry.” I squeeze his hand. “You deserved so much better and I will never forgive myself for treating you the way I have.”

He lets out a deep sigh.

“I missed every sign, every cue that you gave me. I must have, because to be honest, I’m still shocked. You took me completely by surprise.”

We hold hands over the table as he stares at me.

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