Engines of Desire: Tales of Love and Other Horrors by Llewellyn Livia

Author:Llewellyn, Livia [Llewellyn, Livia]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Lethe Press
Published: 2011-03-02T20:00:00+00:00

Mom sits at the kitchen table, under the dim light of the bulb, carefully turning the pages of a pamphlet. The pages are glossy and stiff, crowded with fancy writing and bright photos of apartment buildings covered in sheets of light blue glass. I bet the people who live in those places have never seen their stairwells.

Dad sleeps in the bedroom. It’s been a few hours since lockdown ended, and after thirty-six hours in the stifling apartment, burning debris pounding against the outside walls, you’d think we’d want to be anywhere except here. But there’s nowhere else to go.

“We’re out of food.” I stare into the metal cupboard. All I see is half a tin of crackers, and two cans of soup. Dad may get hungry later on, so I shouldn’t eat them. For once, I can go without.

“Then go downstairs. Take Essam’s prescription with you.”

“Do you want anything?” I stand in front of the table. Mom doesn’t look at me. She pushes her hair behind her ears as she turns another page. I sigh. She looks up, annoyed.

“What do you want, Jet? Do you want me to tell you to be careful? It won’t matter what I say. You never listen to me.”

She stares down at the pamphlet again, then picks up a pencil and draws a circle around an apartment floor plan.

“I’ve never understood why you hate me so much.” My tongue feels dry and swollen in my mouth, and the words are hard to pronounce.

Mom doesn’t look up. “I don’t hate you. I’m tired of you.”

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