Dreams of Falling by Karen White

Author:Karen White
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-06-05T04:00:00+00:00

twenty

Ceecee

2010

Ceecee knelt in front of the bed full of alyssum and zinnias, ruthlessly yanking out weeds and occasionally a flower stem, her vision watery from what she was telling herself was perspiration. She kept going over the scene earlier in the day at Carrowmore, of hearing what was, essentially, a death sentence. But not just for the house. A death sentence for so much more.

She heard Bitty behind her before she smelled the ever-present scent of cigarette smoke. When Bitty drew in a raspy breath to speak, Ceecee cut her off. “You really need to stop smoking. Your breathing sounds like an old mule that’s pulled a hay wagon uphill for a mile.”

“And you would know what that sounds like,” Bitty barked out.

Sitting back on her heels, Ceecee snorted. “I’ve been on more farms in my life than you have.” She tried to stand but realized that she couldn’t quite get her knees to agree with her. Glaring up at her friend, she said, “No human being should sound that way unless they’ve already got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.”

“You can’t get up, can you?”

Without a word, Ceecee held out her hand and allowed Bitty to pull her up, wheezing and coughing as she did.

They stood looking at each other, both breathing heavily, until Ceecee walked a few feet toward the wrought-iron bench under the branches of an elderly magnolia tree that faced the river and sat down, indicating the seat next to her for Bitty. Bitty hesitated briefly, then sat. She opened her mouth to speak but was overcome with a coughing fit.

Ceecee studied her old friend closely in the tree’s shade, really seeing her for the first time in years and noticing the sunspots and deep lines embedded in Bitty’s cheeks, the thin lips and even thinner eyebrows, and the pale spots showing through the bright red hair. It was easy to avoid one’s own reflection, or not to wear glasses when applying makeup so that the illusion of still looking youthful could be maintained. As she’d grown older, Ceecee had learned one unyielding fact: Lying to yourself was always so much easier than facing the truth. But as she stared close up into Bitty’s face in the unadulterated light, there could be no denying it. They were old.

“Please tell me you’ve been to a doctor about that cough.”

“Of course I have. I’m not an idiot. I had a nasty bout of acute bronchitis, but it’s much better now. I’m on antibiotics and he gave me an inhaler and I’m using both, if that makes you happy. You should have heard me before.”

“Did he tell you to stop smoking?”

“Is the sky blue?” Bitty countered, her gaze challenging.

Ceecee knew it would be pointless to continue the conversation, so she sat silently, staring at the river. This place here in her garden overlooking the Sampit River had always been her refuge, the place where she could hide from the world. But after this morning, she wasn’t sure there was any place left to hide.

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