Confessions of a Transylvanian by Theis Kevin & Fox Ron

Author:Theis, Kevin & Fox, Ron [Theis, Kevin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Berwick Court Publishing Co.
Published: 2012-06-12T00:00:00+00:00

Iris left the show the following Saturday night and we had a big blowout at the Orphanage to see her off. She had been with the show—including her stint at Hollywood—for at least two years and figured she had logged, all told, at least 200 viewings of the film. Not an all-time record by any means, but very impressive nonetheless. Since first joining the cast, she had played, at least once, the role of Janet, Columbia, Magenta, Floor Show Janet, Floor Show Columbia and, once, during a switch night, had even played Brad.

And now, after her long tenure as the go-to Janet, Iris was hanging up her bra forever.

Once at the party, we spent most of the night lining up for Donny’s Shotgun Booth and listening to Iris and Mark recount stories from the past: the on-stage miscues and bizarre accidents, some of the more memorable and infamous nights performing in the show down in Hollywood, and more than a few gossipy tales of cast members long gone. Mark was a natural storyteller and Iris woke up domestic animals for miles around as she laughed uproariously through the night.

The party stretched into the wee hours of the morning, as always, but I wasn’t able to keep up. I nodded off long before the sun came up and, in doing so, further cemented my reputation as a Grog.

“Grog,” I should make clear, was our term for someone who has little or no stamina for staying awake. It is also a verb, referring to the act of falling asleep against your own will.

Example #1: “He’s fun to party with, but come 3:00, the guy’s a fuckin’ Grog.”

Example #2: “We were going to drive down to Key West after the movie, but she grogged on me.”

You get the idea.

Some people involved with the Rocky show could stay awake for days. Hell, I don’t think Ron ever slept. Others, like me, would do our best to keep up with everyone else but would eventually (often humorously) “grog” at odd moments during the night. It was a common occurrence to find me grogging on one of the Orphanage couches in the middle of a party, for example. And occasionally someone would catch me in a poolside grog or grogging at the beach. Once I managed to grog sitting cross-legged in the back of Tony’s open pickup truck zipping down the I-95 expressway.

What can I say? I was a growing boy. I needed my rest.

Most famously, however, I was known for grogging at Denny’s after the show. There I’d be, sitting with the cast, enjoying a late-night snack and chatting away, then...ZAP. It was like turning off a light switch. I was out. And if I grogged before my meal arrived, I’d often wake up with an empty plate in front of me and a bill to pay.

Oh, my castmates had their fun at my expense, no question about it.

The night that stands out in my mind, though, was the evening I nodded off at Denny’s and Ron and Donny decided that I’d be much more comfortable.

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