Between Now & Never by Laura Johnston

Author:Laura Johnston [Johnston, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Suspense, Music
ISBN: 9781601833525
Amazon: B00ONTR75U
Barnesnoble: B00ONTR75U
Goodreads: 23942204
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2015-03-31T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 20

Cody

The same foggy, I-don’t-care-about-anything feeling won’t let up. Some would call this mild depression. I call it life. Sure, I put on a smile during school and at the kitchen table, but I can’t shake it. For the few short moments Julianna is here helping me with that dang art project, I almost let myself forget.

She needs help; that’s about as obvious as the fact that I need help with art. I see the strain, the fatigue in her eyes. She’s been distant lately, keeping to her usual end of the coffee table. It makes me miss her laugh, her spunk.

Every once in a while she’ll lean up on the coffee table and look at the picture of me and Jimmy, like she’s waiting for me to tell her more. Telling her about Jimmy and the accident on Monday didn’t help, though; it’s about all I can think of now.

It’s hard not to replay every detail of the past events that marked me. Like Jimmy’s death. When I was younger, I used to think through what happened. Over and over. Every night. Just me, alone, in an empty bedroom that used to be occupied by two. It was easier that way, easier than putting words to the story and giving it a voice.

As I lie in bed now, I feel myself slipping back into my old ways. It’s too hard to try to stop. I drift off to sleep, feeling the memories of those last days with Jimmy slithering toward some deep corner of my brain where dreams are made.

It happened only a year and a half after we skinny-dipped in the canal. I had just turned ten, Jimmy was eight, Rachel was six, and Lizzy—the surprise child—was one. Dad had bought me my first airsoft gun for target practice. It was a super low-velocity gun, safe for beginners. I was thrilled, Jimmy even more so. Mom wasn’t quite so sure. Once the airsoft gun proved useful in pest control, however, she changed her mind.

Mom hated lizards. They came from the open fields beyond our backyard in Scottsdale, thriving on water from the drip hose beneath our bushes. So long as Jimmy and I wore long sleeves, gloves, and goggles and vowed to shoot lizards, we could use the airsoft gun all we wanted.

It was an unseasonably cold day for the beginning of November, and Jimmy had already been coughing.

He should go inside; I remember thinking that. Jimmy was always coming down with something, though, and we were having too much fun.

We pelted lizards left and right, Jimmy shouting his usual orders to fan out and trust your instincts. Neither of us was about to stop, even when thick clouds overhead opened up and rain began to fall.

Nothing beats an Arizona rainstorm. We were loving it. After all, bad guys were always easier to catch during a storm. Even though we were getting a little old for that kind of play, some lingering nostalgia linked to shooting imaginary bad guys as kids kicked in and we were Special Agents Rush and Rush again.

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