A Lifetime of Goodbyes by Samantha Touchais

Author:Samantha Touchais [Touchais, Samantha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780996994125
Publisher: Divinely Inspired Books
Published: 2019-11-28T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7

The Nurse

It took a long time for Mother to die. I sound quite cold when I say that but I suppose having spent years living with a very practical and highly-unemotional person, I find myself responding in kind. I don’t mean to, really. I loved her very much and tried to be close to her but she was from another generation, a wartime generation whose forte was survival and rations and the re-use of teabags.

Mother had been ill for quite some time but not being one to make a fuss, we hadn’t known. We had noticed what appeared to be dementia slowly creeping in, but then Mother was in her eighties, so it wasn’t really surprising. It was during her weekly shopping trip, when I would accompany her, that I noticed her hand shake as she tried to place a loaf of bread in the shopping trolley. I asked her if she was feeling OK, and she smiled a wan smile and told me the truth. She was dying. Right there in the supermarket. Just like that. Well, she wasn’t dying in the supermarket, but she told me that her doctor had given her six months at the most, and that she didn’t want me making a fuss about it. She had already spoken to her solicitor and had the will and her personal property sorted out and ‘Could you be a dear and organise a nurse to visit me at home when I need it?’ She continued on her way down the aisle leaving me standing there staring like a stunned rabbit in the headlights.

We didn’t say much as I helped her into the car and placed the groceries on the back seat. We still didn’t really talk as I drove her home and helped her out of the car and in through the front door. I put the kettle on and made us a cup of tea and it was then that she opened up. She had cancer, and while she was feeling alright at the moment, the doctor had said it was widespread and she wouldn’t live to see next Christmas. She took a sip of tea and I half expected her to talk about the weather. That was Mother. Never a more practical woman did I ever come across.

When she finished her tea, I took our cups to the sink and rinsed them with hot water, not really noticing as I burned my hands under the tap. My mind was racing and my words had gone into hiding. She had been very clear about not wanting to go in to a home or hostel and wanting to live out her days in her own house. That I could understand.

I found an agency that manages home care for the elderly and they sent us a nurse called Ann. When my wife and I opened the front door to her on her first day, she greeted us with a firm handshake and then went over to Mother, sat down next to her and explained who she was and how she saw their relationship working.

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