A Kind of Freedom by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

Author:Margaret Wilkerson Sexton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Counterpoint
Published: 2017-08-22T04:00:00+00:00

Jackie

Fall 1986

The next morning Terry got up to make blueberry pancakes, bacon, and eggs. He dressed the baby so Jackie had more time to focus on herself, iron her clothes, set her hair with hot rollers, apply a little lipstick on her cheeks for blush. People at the nursery noticed the change.

Her mother was the first one to comment. “Jackie Marie, are you humming in this classroom?” This during her break as Jackie stapled leaves and pumpkins to the bulletin board.

“No, ma’am,” she said on instinct, though she supposed she had been. “It was just a song that I heard on the radio this morning,” she added when she realized her lie wouldn’t hold.

“Oh, I know, I recognized Anita Baker. But”—Mama paused, smiling—“is there something you need to tell me about? A new friend maybe?” She let her smile extend.

Mama had been pushing Jackie to start seeing new people, at least go out with her old friends, but she hadn’t been ready to socialize, not then. This morning, though, she felt like calling all her girlfriends, inviting them over for one of her fish fries.

“No, Mama,” she said, “just getting back into the swing of things, I guess.”

Her mother paused, looked up at her on the ladder with her eyebrows arched. “Well, good, then,” she said. “That’s real good. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me,” and she clutched her heart.

She stood there for a minute longer, waiting to hear more, but there was no way Jackie was about to tell her what the real source of the change was. She remembered the last time Terry came back, that he stayed months, that he’d said all the right things, meant them even, that the baby had started to go to him just like he went to Jackie. But that didn’t stop Terry from leaving, that didn’t stop her from having to tell her family that he was gone, that didn’t stop Sybil from saying I told you so, and Jackie would be damned if she put herself in that position again.

On the other hand, what was it he had said about staying in the moment? No promises? What was wrong with her enjoying this reprieve no matter how long it played out?

Thinking about it that way, she relaxed into their new routine. She’d come home to elaborate dinners, crawfish étouffée, his mother’s recipe, or smothered chicken and rice. They’d watch movies, Raiders of the Lost Ark or Friday the 13th, play rummy or just marvel over their baby’s sleeping body, how his hairline was just like Terry’s, a sweet little M, or how he turned his nose up at strangers the way Jackie could sometimes. Jackie relished those moments she hadn’t even known she’d missed. It was rare to find someone who was as invested in talking about T.C. as she was. Even with her mama, she parceled her bragging out. She didn’t tell her the baby was trying to crawl already, that he had said the word

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