A History of Fear by Luke Dumas

Author:Luke Dumas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2022-12-06T00:00:00+00:00

Nineteen

IT WAS AFTER 4:00 a.m. when I finally gave up trying to sleep. Slipping out of bed, I crossed the room and felt around for the gooseneck lamp on the desk. With a click it beamed, casting a stark light across the darkness of the bedroom.

I sat, feeling weak, jittery. A little nauseous. My eyes stung from lack of rest. Pulling a spiral-bound notebook toward me, I opened to the back and drew a vertical line down the center of the page, producing two imperfect columns. At the top of one I wrote Reasons He Might Be; at the top of the other, Reasons He Might Not.

This was stupid. My discomfort was easily explained. I had satanophobia, a condition that made me read demonic machinations into even the most mundane occurrence. This black, nauseating terror was just a symptom of my affliction. Sick was what I was, sick and ill-equipped. I ought to call a psychiatrist. I needed help.

And yet, rational though it was, the explanation did nothing to soothe my nerves. Did nothing to quell the thoughts and images hammering my skull with cruel insistence, telling me that I had met the Devil that night, and that any moment he would return.

And so I began to write.

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