5d6 (Caverns and Creatures) by Robert Bevan

Author:Robert Bevan [Bevan, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Robert Bevan
Published: 2017-09-20T22:00:00+00:00

The End.

Fistin’ the Furious

(Original Publication Date: August 21, 2017)

For Ula Wilmott.

Thank you for your amazing generosity.

“So why us?” asked Tim, still bitter over his swollen hand. He downed a shot of stonepiss, then set the empty shot glass upside down beside two others, forming the beginning of a pyramid. Other patrons, sipping fancier drinks from ornately decorated tankards, occasionally frowned disapprovingly at their table. The Golden Goblet wasn’t the sort of place Tim and his friends usually frequented, but they served a decent stonepiss. As long as someone else was paying, that’s all that really mattered.

The young woman buying them drinks smiled sympathetically at him. She might be pretty if she didn’t insist on dressing like a Puritan and wearing her hair tied up in a grandma bun.

“I have a task which requires your various talents, and which I will pay you handsomely for.”

“Bullshit, lady. This isn't my first day in the game. We've been sent on enough quests from strangers in taverns to know that what you need is a group of expendable drunks to run off and do something that's too stupid or too dangerous for you to do yourself.”

“Perhaps I should do the talking?” said Julian. The tips of his long elf ears were already pink from the half a glass of beer he'd drunk.

Tim necked back another shot, then set the glass down atop the row of empties to start the next tier of his pyramid. “We don't need your Diplomacy skill right now. She came to us.” He turned back to the woman. “You've got until I pass out and piss my pants to make your pitch, so start pitching.”

“You need not fear any risk that I would not be willing to face alongside you, halfling. For it is my intention to accompany you on this quest. And not one of you is expendable. Like I said, it is your individual talents which led me to request your assistance. I have been watching you from a distance since early in the evening when you tried to pick my pocket.”

Tim held up his bandaged hand, unable to give her the finger because they were all too puffy and full of venom. “That's my unique talent you need? The one you personally witnessed me fucking up?”

“That wasn't your fault.” She placed her hand on the table, and a small black snake slithered out of her sleeve. “How were you to know that little Simon here was in my pocket? I didn't feel your hand at all. Until you screamed, I hadn't the slightest idea you were there.”

Tim grimaced at the snake. “Just keep Simon the fuck away from me.”

Ula clicked her tongue, and Simon slithered back up her sleeve.

“Are you a sorcerer?” asked Julian.

“Sorceress,” the woman corrected him. “My name is Ula Wilmott. I am touched with the gift of sorcery, but I have yet to develop my powers as you have yours.”

“Ha!” said Dave. “Julian, a powerful sorcerer? She really is blowing smoke up our asses.”

“Let's cut to the chase,” said Tim.

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