16 A Tapestry of Treason by Anne O'Brien

Author:Anne O'Brien
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

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Midsummer 1400: Cardiff Castle

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I gave birth to a daughter with all the travail that I recalled from my past confinements. Agonising but quickly over. I was fortunate, said the midwife who ruled my chamber when I began my labour. Not all women were so blessed. So my daughter came into the world, a sturdy child with wisps of light brown hair. I thought she had no resemblance to Thomas or to me. A placid infant, I handed her to her wet nurse and the young woman employed to rock the cradle.

Did I have any affection for her, for Richard or Elizabeth? If I did I did not know how to show it except in physical care. Did I regret it? How could I, since familial affection was not something that I had learned at my mother’s knee. My children were not embraced and kissed except by their nursemaids, but, conscious of my duty, I would ensure that this child be raised as a true Despenser, a proud if flawed name, related by blood to the King. One day she would be much sought after as a well-connected wife for some great magnate. Such a scrap of life to carry so much hope. I named her Isabella, after my mother, for there was royal Castilian blood in her veins too.

Fleetingly, in my heart I wished that I had given birth to another son. I would not willingly burden either of my daughters with the restricted quality of life that I had experienced, but there was no use in repining. A strong-willed wife need not necessarily be without influence.

A month after my ordeal, after a churching when I donated candles to the Altar of Our Lady, I was thus purified, restored to my place in society, and on my way back to Court. It would not be good policy for me to be absent too long.

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