White Male by Kim J. West

Author:Kim J. West [West, Kim J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-10-15T07:00:00+00:00

When Jonathan had come to my apartment last Tuesday night all hot and angry, demanding a retraction and all night sex, I’d known in the back of my mind that I couldn't hold him to anything he said in the heat of passion. I was determined that tonight, before any crazy sex commenced, we’d get to know each other more and determine from there where all this was going. All week, he’d been sweet to me on the phone, acting like a real boyfriend.

But I still had irrational fears; I was afraid to let myself fall for him if this wasn’t going to last. We needed to talk and I was adamant that I wasn't going to let him fuck me into forgetting relationship housekeeping today. I wasn't sure I’d be able to resist him if he pulled the moves though; but I hoped to delay it. My body reacted so powerfully to his advances and slid out of control of my rational mind. I’d never been this way sexually with a guy before. I’d never had mind blowing sex like this with Willis, my small dick ex, but I did throw myself at him in ways that made me cringe with shame. I’d argued with other women over him, I’d called him incessantly; I’d even occasionally turned a blind eye to some of the women he was cheating with just to keep the peace. Everybody told me dating an athlete in his league meant that women came with the territory; I’d tolerated that and made humiliating concessions until the day I snapped.

Even after moving to Atlanta, if he’d told me to come back to LA in those early days when I was still pining for him, I'd have rushed back in a heartbeat. I was over him now, but the scars still remained. Shereen kept telling me to be careful about contaminating my future relationships with the bad experiences I’d had with Willis; I knew I was being overly sensitive and irrational with Jonathan because of it. But I was ready to walk if I had to. After Willis, I’d sooner get Jonathan before he got me. I’d promised myself to never be under someone’s complete control ever again.

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