When You're Gone by Abby Millsaps

Author:Abby Millsaps [Abby Millsaps]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abby Millsaps
Published: 2022-02-07T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter eighteen

Tori

Jake: Hey baby. How’d it go? Was our boy surprised?

She read the incoming text and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was so frustrated right now. With herself. With Rhett’s stupid work retreat. With this whole situation.

Tori: Not great. He was surprised for sure… because he has a work retreat this weekend. I’m already back at the airport waiting on a flight home.

Jake: Shit

Her thoughts exactly. She watched as Jake started then stopped texting her three times, that little gray speech bubble eliciting a ping of annoyance each time it disappeared.

She wasn’t actually upset with Jake. She was just so disappointed in herself. What had she been thinking, trying to surprise Rhett when she knew his calendar was jam-packed with obligations? She had come to Virginia with the best of intentions, but it felt like she’d made everything harder today.

She still didn’t feel right about leaving Norfolk. There was a nagging uncertainty to when she’d be back. They hadn’t had time to make plans, to pick a new date. She hated leaving and not knowing when she’d see her husband next.

He’d been so eager to coordinate their calendars. She’d been so flippant about his concerns. It turned out his desire to make plans wasn’t just rooted in his type A personality. He was fully aware of what she’d been too narrow-minded to admit: they needed to plan ahead from here on out if long distance was going to work.

Tori: Do you think I’m making a mistake by leaving?

She knew Jake would give her the truth. Even if it wasn’t the answer she wanted. This time, thankfully, his reply was immediate.

Jake: No. We both know our boy wouldn’t want you sitting around at the apartment, alone and miserable.

She scoffed—he was right. Rhett was selfless enough to send her away, knowing she’d be unhappy at the apartment. Still. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself.

Tori: You’re right. I might as well just come home to sit around alone and miserable.

Her self-deprecation was out of character, but she couldn’t have stopped it if she tried.

She was depressed. She knew that now. She’d known it for a while, but she hadn’t been able to admit it until now. Realizing how out of sync she was with Rhett rattled her and inspired this new awareness. She wasn’t ashamed of the way she was struggling. If anything, she was proud of herself for finally recognizing how shitty everything had felt lately and for being brave enough to name it.

Just because she wasn’t ashamed didn’t make the idea any easier to accept. She had everything she wanted; everything she had ever dreamed of and envisioned for her life. It felt like contempt walked hand in hand with her depression because for the first time in her life, she had no valid reason to be depressed.

Rhett could sense it in her. She could see her truth reflected in his eyes every time he looked at her too long. There was no way he didn’t know. Lia probably suspected.

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