Understanding Show, Don't Tell (And Really Getting It) by Janice Hardy

Author:Janice Hardy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: show don't tell, writing, editing, fiction, telling, showing, revision
Publisher: Janice Hardy
Published: 2016-09-30T04:00:00+00:00

If we really wanted to get crazy, this sentence is full of motivation tells. “For” is an assumption of motive and could be considered a tell. Bob is reaching, but until he touches the rifle, the narrator can’t truly know why he’s reaching. Depending on the narrative distance, “reach for” could be information the narrator doesn’t know. “To shoot” also implies motive or intent. Bob could take that rifle and whack the zombie over the head with it, or he could use it to break the window and escape. Telling the motive for both the reaching and the shooting explains everything that’s about to happen so readers don’t get to see it.

Even if we’re in Bob’s point of view, he’s only telling us what he plans to do and why—he’s not physically doing it. We know his motives, yes, but knowing he “plans to shoot the zombie” is different from seeing him pull the trigger and save his life.

Look at the sentence again:

Bob reached for the rifle to shoot the zombie.

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