The Way of Grace by Miranda Macpherson

Author:Miranda Macpherson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sounds True

ADDRESSING THE FEARS OF FORGIVENESS

We all long for liberation, but forgiveness can feel so outrageous in the face of the tough terrain we all traverse at times: a rupturing divorce, a betrayal of a best friend, a crushing conflict with our parent or child. Whenever we perceive ourselves to be unfairly treated, it can feel like an impossible task to join in that deeper ground where we are not our mistakes.

When caught in deep hurt, our ego will counsel that forgiveness is just not smart. Perhaps you fear that forgiveness will make you into a passive doormat, allowing no protection for your vulnerable heart. Perhaps you fear that forgiveness means you cannot say no when something does not feel respectful, either for yourself or for another.

Susan, a dedicated student who had a painfully explosive history with her sister, shared her fear: “If I question my perception of who she is, that means I have to question all of my perceptions, all that I have presumed to be real, including my sense of who I am.” Forgiveness can feel very edgy to our familiar identity, which wants to receive transforming Grace while maintaining the status quo.

Perhaps you fear that forgiveness condones injustice, believing that hard-hearted condemnation is necessary to hold a boundary on workable behavior. There are times when it may be wise to step back from a situation that has become too emotionally charged to be healthy. However, there is a vast difference between taking time out to cool down so you can inquire into the roots of your own reactivity and icing someone out of your heart.

Whenever you condemn another, write them off, or annihilate them with your mind, you are caught in the grip of hatred. It is for this reason that forgiveness is the great need of our world.

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