The True American: Murder and Mercy in Texas by Anand Giridharadas

Author:Anand Giridharadas [Giridharadas, Anand]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Nonfiction, Retail, True Crime
ISBN: 9780393239508
Google: HrgaAwAAQBAJ
Amazon: 0393239500
Barnesnoble: 0393239500
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2014-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

SOMETIMES, IN THE middle of the night, Rais would awaken with a start to find his mother beside him, rubbing his head and crying. She still couldn’t believe that she’d gotten him back: “She used to tell that I miss you so much, and that in all these years I could have been spending time with you, take care of you, cook something good for you, and rub your head while you sleep.” They talked and talked the whole time. Discussion of the material world was haram for pilgrims, so they dwelled on loftier subjects. She explained to him the significance of the places they were visiting, the rituals they conducted. They spoke of the afterlife, but also of how Rais might serve God in his remaining years on earth. They spoke of the role of mercy in the faith. Rais told her of a peculiar feeling that had begun to stir in him—a call to do something for others.

These words—“to do something for others”—had played on a loop in his mind throughout the pilgrimage. And he knew where they came from. As he lay dying years ago, he had looked to the sky and proposed a deal: if You save me, I will dedicate my life to doing something for others. This journey to Mecca had reminded Rais that he had strayed from that pledge. Life after the shooting became, more than ever before, about himself. It had to be so. It had been a time for recovery—for surgeries and rehabilitation and the securing of bread and roof. God couldn’t begrudge him that. But what he felt now was that he had crossed some invisible line separating the moment of rebuilding from a new phase. What or why or how, he didn’t know. The debt was gone. The right eye, mostly blind, was what it was. The more Rais prayed, the more God elucidated the message He had been sending. God was calling in an old favor. He was telling Rais it was time.

Rais’s father had told him, before he left, that whatever he asked for in Mecca would be granted. One day Rais and his mother were praying at the Kaaba. His mother was chanting. Rais remembers her asking God: please help my son to fulfill his promises to You. Rais, feeling the summons of a new mission, asked God for the resources he might need to serve others. He asked Him for mental, physical, and financial strength, so that those basics could recede from his attention and free him to concentrate on service. He asked for guidance about where his life should go, knowing that it had to travel in new directions: “I said, ‘Help me to lead a respectful, good life, and keep me from all evils. Give me the power and the strength to help others. Once I come back to You, You put me in the highest Heaven that You have created.’ ”

He had told his mother of his long-ago promise, and she encouraged him to bring it up with his God, which he now did.

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