The Three Questions by don Miguel Ruiz

Author:don Miguel Ruiz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2018-04-30T04:00:00+00:00

11

Getting Out of Jail

WE ALL REMEMBER what it was like to be a teenager, sick of the indignities of childhood. We wanted to break away from our parents. We wanted to escape the prison of home and family. Some of you reading this may still be teenagers, but even in adulthood most people have the impulse to break free of something. Even in old age, we want to exercise our independence. This impulse to be free is natural, but who is really standing in our way?

No matter how unfair outside circumstances seem, feelings of oppression begin with us. We entertain some unpleasant ideas about ourselves. We hang on to irrational fears and create random superstitions. We tell ourselves we can’t, we shouldn’t—or else. We demand some kind of penance for having too much fun. We punish ourselves for breaking unwritten rules. We even make ourselves pay penalties for loving.

Oppression exists. There are real prisoners in the world and actual prisons, but most people are oppressed by their own stories and fears. They’re driven to despair by beliefs they refuse to abandon. They are nagged by voices only they can hear. No one can say what it is you demand of yourself except you. No one thinks about ways to punish you but you. So listen to yourself. Hear how you tell people you don’t do that or eat that or how you’re not that kind of guy. Listen to your thoughts, and hear how you browbeat yourself. You may sound like your father sometimes, or your mother, or your college math professor. Mostly, you sound like that character you invented to keep yourself in line. You sound like me.

A strong desire for freedom usually begins in adolescence. All kids, at some time or another, begin to feel constrained and a little persecuted. Parents try to shape and protect their children, but kids reach a point when they resent them for it. They rebel, even if it means hurting themselves in the process. Society gets involved, but kids lose patience with its rules. Governments and religious institutions want to lead them in one direction or another. Breaking free of it all sounds appealing, but most people want freedom to be given to them. That won’t happen. The freedom that really counts is the freedom we grant ourselves.

Tyranny starts with us and with that little government in our heads. Who makes the rules? Who enforces them? Who can rewrite those rules? The president can—the aware executive we want to be. We can each repeal our own laws and reform our own personal justice system. We can break out of jail free anytime.

As you’ve probably figured out by now, me can become a better decision maker. Me can be a better administrator—or me can step aside and become a friend. If the desire is there, me can be a diplomat and a peacemaker. Me can ultimately be the savior you’ve been looking for.

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