The Success of Failure by Mike Bensi

Author:Mike Bensi [Mike Bensi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2017-11-18T16:00:00+00:00

DIGGING IN

“Here’s the salad,” the waitress said, sliding the plate to Dave, “and here’s the Heavenly Special.” She passed Tony his plate, which included mashed potatoes and gravy between two large pieces of fried chicken. On top of this creation was a generous portion of cheese and bite-sized pieces of bacon.

Dave’s eyes widened as looked at Tony’s plate. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone order that before,” he said as he navigated his salad.

“Very funny. It’s too good to pass up here. Have you tried it?”

“Are you kidding me? I thought you avoided that stuff. You come off as the health guy,” Dave said.

“It’s OK to get some protein every now and then, right?”

“So, you were saying?” Dave said, trying to refocus the conversation.

“Yeah, right,” said Tony. “I shouldn’t say that I didn’t know I was talking head trash. I know I don’t always talk positively about myself, but isn’t everyone critical of themselves?”

“Sometimes. But not everyone lets it impact their lives,” Dave said.

“But didn’t I mess up?”

“Don’t we all make mistakes?” Dave quickly responded.

“Well, sure. But…” Tony paused.

“Everyone makes mistakes. At work. At home. On our way back and forth to work and home. Life happens. When we make a mistake, it’s usually not the mistake we are focused on. Instead, we worry about how we are perceived by others. That influences how we feel about our mistake, and ultimately ourselves.

“What happened in last week’s basketball game?”

“You mean the missed free throw?” Tony said. “I thought they were going to pull it out.”

“Yes. Do you know what the player said at the end of the game? He said he let the team down. The missed free throw didn’t come up, but rather how it affected his teammates.”

“Isn’t that normal?”

“Absolutely. But do you know what he also said? He said he’s going to go back to the basics and go back to his process. He can go back to practice and do the things that will make him successful the next time.

“If he were truly focused on approval, he would be waiting for his punishment from the coach or his team. Very few mistakes actually deserve a punishment. You were waiting for your punishment, so you shut down and took it.”

Tony felt like he had been woken out of a trance. “I didn’t realize I had a choice in the matter.”

“Of course you wouldn’t have. How do you think that has affected the relationships with those around you?”

“Not well,” Tony said quietly. He thought about the last time he spent any quality time with Kate. Or had a beer with Kyle. “I guess I didn’t realize I was shutting down.”

“And when we shut down, we only hear what’s wrong with us rather than what’s right. Whether that comes from us or someone else. How have your conversations been going with Jack?”

“You’ve heard about those?” Tony said quietly. He put his fork down, somewhat embarrassed.

“If we don’t have the approval, or belief, in ourselves, we look to others to fill that void.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.