The Social Dynamics of Pronominal Systems by Bouissac Paul;

Author:Bouissac, Paul; [Bouissac, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: John Benjamins Publishing Co.
Published: 2019-07-04T09:47:19+00:00

Kina

िकन

kina

ितम्रो

timro

तस्वीर

tasvīr

मलाई

malāī

मीठो

mīṭho

लाग्छ ।

lāgcha?

Why, oh why does your picture look so delicious to me?

The use of the intermediate pronominal form ितमी timī in the lyrics of this song was the obvious choice, but also implies a difference in gender between the singer and the person being serenaded. This pronominal usage can carry on into marriage under certain specific circumstances.

In a proper traditional marriage, bride and bridegroom may never have met and may not know each other. However, the two families who plan to join into an alliance through the marriage of their offspring or sibling have ideally arranged a partner of suitable caste, character, tastes, interests and socio-economic background in order to safeguard a socially acceptable and sustainable marriage. A marriage candidate of matching caste and adequate rank within caste for one’s daughter (छोरी िदन िमल्ने chorī dina milne) is categorised as a कुटुम्ब kuṭumba. Many people swear by this age-old tradition, and a Westerner might be surprised to hear from a young man who has just said that he is getting married in eighteen months’ time that the young man in question has no idea to whom he is getting married. The traditional young man might assert that he does not need to know, but that he has already notified his parents of his preferred timing. Therefore, he can state confidently that he will be married at the appointed time. Arranging the partner and the marriage is, after all, his parents’ responsibility.

However, two people may, alternatively, fall in love and abscond to commit what is called a love marriage, known in Nepali as प्रेम-िववाह prem vivāh. Quite commonly, however, the English term is used in Nepali because an outlandish loanword is perhaps better suited to denote an outlandish custom. Whereas two people in an arranged marriage, who might even be total strangers, simply adopt the asymmetrical usage of pronouns between spouses previously described as soon as the marriage ceremony has been completed, the two members of a love marriage will have started out addressing each other with the intermediate pronoun ितमी timī, and this pronominal usage is then likely to carry on into their marriage. Consequently, the suggestion created in the mind of the listener by the persistence of their initial pronominal usage into their married life betrays that their marriage was not a properly arranged traditional connubial union. An erudite and illustrious Nepali journalist of high caste and his equally high-caste and well-bred wife happen to address each other with the intermediate pronominal form ितमी timī. The suggestion evoked in the mind of an astute Nepali listener is immediate, although with such an internationally prominent social activist one might be forgiven for speculating whether the pronominal choice might not perhaps be part of some egalitarian social campaign.

Another typical and therefore illustrative case involves a couple who met and fell in love. This phenomenon happens to be quite a bit more commonplace than highly conservative people might be prepared to ponder, but the trick may be getting this relationship to be accepted by both sets of parents.

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