The Saber-Tooth Curriculum, Classic Edition by abner j peddiwell

Author:abner j peddiwell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-11T16:00:00+00:00

IV. HIGHER PALEOLITHIC EDUCATION

“I SEE that the president of the University of Oskaloosa has broken into print again,” I remarked.

“What does he appear to have on his young mind now?” asked Dr. Peddiwell.

“He is concerned about the plight of higher education in America,” I said.

“And well he might be,” remarked the professor approvingly. “Does he say what he is going to do about it?”

“Yes. He is going to make it rational, systematic, orderly.”

“Oh, ho! And a very proper thing to try to do, and if he actually did do that, it would certainly be a wholesome lesson to it. How is he going to establish order in higher education?”

“He is going to make the study of metaphysics pervade the whole university. Not information but pure thought is going to be the university’s aim.

“A wonderful contribution! Yes, sir—a plan worthy of the best paleolithic thinking and in fact highly reminiscent of the university reform which ushered in the golden age of paleolithic culture.”

“Yes, sir?” I breathed softly and waited for the lecture which I could see was on its way.

The paleolithic university, like those of other countries and times (began Dr. Peddiwell), was started for magical reasons. Ordinarily schools gave enough education as long as subjects were taught for their practical values only, but as soon as esoteric knowledge was developed for its own hocus-pocus sake, universities became necessary.

The paleolithic university was really founded the day the paleolithic creek got too muddy for fish to be caught in it with the bare hands. From that time forward, fish-grabbing had to be taught for general cultural or magical reasons, and it was inevitable that the university should be developed for that purpose.

The paleolithic professions of sorcery, chieftainship, and hunting engineering were learned professions requiring university training from the first simply because they were magical professions from the first. The medicine men cast out evil spirits and treated disease, to some extent, by science and common sense but mostly by magic and charm. The chiefs ruled the people, a little by understanding them but a lot by hexing them. Antelope, bears, and fish were caught with snares, traps, and nets in a certain limited sense, but in the more important sense of the supernaturally real, they were caught by prayers and incantations.

Thus professional education and the higher magical education went together in paleolithic times for very good and logical reasons, just as they have gone together ever since. Our young friend, the president of the University of Oskaloosa, is worried by this circumstance. The dear boy lacks historical background, or he would see that any profession which has been saturated with magic throughout its history cannot be divorced from the one educational institution which is devoted to the theory and practice of magic.

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