The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a H by Andrew Bernstein

Author:Andrew Bernstein [Bernstein, Andrew]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2010-04-20T14:00:00+00:00

At the beginning of this chapter, I mentioned that you would meet Sam, a financial advisor for a large brokerage firm. Sam has been a top producer at the firm for several years, regularly earning all-expenses-paid reward trips to beautiful resorts with his wife and other top producers. His wife loved these trips, but for the last few years Sam was less than completely thrilled about going. Some of the other advisors had books of clients that were three or four times the size of his book. “I should be more successful,” Sam told himself, shaking his head.

In addition to golf, tennis, and sightseeing, the brokerage firm organizes educational breakout sessions for those who want to pick up new skills while on vacation. That’s where I met Sam. I was teaching an ActivInsight workshop called Resilience 101, and Sam and his wife attended. His class came up with the proofs above.

“Every one of these proofs is true for me,” Sam said. “I don’t want to work harder than I do, because I want to spend time with my family. I spend way too much time with small clients and not enough time prospecting for big ones. I could make more money selling products with a higher commission, but I don’t want to do that to my clients unless I feel it’s right for them. I can go right down the list. But the ones that really get me are the last two. I haven’t reached out enough to others who can help me, and I haven’t made my goals attractive to them and their goals. I see that. I really see why I should not be more successful at this time. Before going through this, I would have thought that seeing that would depress me, but now I’m fired up to make some changes.”

Before doing this worksheet, people always think it’s going to be dispiriting or that it will rob them of their motivation, yet afterward, like Sam, they find themselves energized. When you see the truth of the negation and take it in, how do you feel? Clearer? More honest? Identify the feelings that come up for you with your insights, and note them in Step 6a.

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