The Loyal Heart by Shelley Shepard Gray

Author:Shelley Shepard Gray
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2016-06-01T04:00:00+00:00

13

SOME MEMORIES OF THE WAR WERE SO PAINFUL THAT Robert would gladly trade the loss of one limb if the Lord would remove the images from his mind.

However, since he was pretty sure God didn’t necessarily appreciate a man bargaining with him, Robert had long since resigned himself to cope with his flashbacks as best he could. Some methods worked better than others.

After spending too many hours nearly paralyzed by his thoughts, Robert had begun to try to ease those dark thoughts in a variety of ways. So far, the best way he’d found to find relief had been to consciously attempt to never think about the war.

Ever.

After a bit of practice, that method worked rather nicely. Every time his mind would drift toward a particularly horrific event that had played out on the battlefield, Robert would stop himself and concentrate on something at hand. Like music, for example. Or the way a woman smiled at a shopkeeper. Puppies and kittens and babies he saw. Anything that was the complete opposite of the grim realities of war.

But now, as he walked into Miranda Markham’s darkened bedroom, his mind drifted back to one of his most painful nights on Johnson’s Island . . . the night after they’d buried Phillip Markham. The burial ceremony itself had been a rather grand affair, given their circumstances. Over a hundred men had gathered together to pray before Robert, Captain Monroe, Thomas, and Major Kelly laid him to rest in the Confederate cemetery.

Captain Monroe, a man always to be counted on for eloquence, spoke about Phillip’s love for Galveston Island, honor and chivalry, and of course, his beloved Miranda.

Robert had committed much of Monroe’s speech to memory, it had been so beautiful. Their captain had spoken of living life to the fullest, even if it was a shortened one. He’d talked of finding joy in most every blessed event—even those events that didn’t seem blessed at all.

And for a while, Captain Monroe’s words had given them all a measure of hope and solace. His speech had offered a small amount of understanding in a time when so very little of what had happened to them was understandable.

But then the night had come.

And with that night came silence and men’s cries. For Robert, it had also brought with it the realization that never again would he hear Phillip’s slow drawl. Never again would Phillip chat incessantly about love and marriage and his beloved Miranda.

Late in the evening, long after midnight, Robert had felt a desolation so strong that it had hurt to breathe. He’d remembered all the men he’d known who had already died. He’d even forced himself to remember the day Rory had passed away.

And then his state of mind had gotten even worse.

For one long, interminable hour, he’d gazed at his sheet and contemplated making it into a rope.

All that had stopped him was the thought of the other men having to bury his body. Digging graves was a grueling and daylong affair. It left one sore and dirty and feeling hopeless.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.