The Life-Changing Power of NO! by Laura Tong

Author:Laura Tong
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: learning to say no, how to build confidence, when I say no I feel guilty, being more assertive, ifeel guilty when I say no
Publisher: Laura Tong
Published: 2017-09-26T00:00:00+00:00

How To Say No To Your Family

Family requests can seem the hardest to say ‘no’ to. They know you best and consciously or subconsciously can really push your guilt buttons. And guilt particularly exaggerates the consequences of saying 'no' to family.

The good news is, people usually don’t react in the way you initially feared when you’ve done your best to be kind and compassionate in how you actually said ‘no’. And using the strategies and scripts here will help you minimize any possible conflict.

And remember, if you expect people to react well to your 'no', they often will. Anxiety or nervousness can make your words or actions seem a little harsh or brusque, even to those who know and love you well. Go into the conversation as positively as you can and your response will have the very best chance of being well-received.

People can also sense when your resolve is strong, so be decisive!

SCRIPTS

1. Your mother asks you to go to them for Christmas, but you want a quiet Christmas at home.

"That's so wonderful you've invited us again. I really appreciate how much time and effort you and dad put in to make it such a great family occasion. However, Mark & I have been talking about this Christmas.

Mark's really exhausted - he's been working so hard on his business at the moment and he can really only take a few days off over Christmas.

So we thought just for this year, we'd have a quiet Christmas at home, just the two of us. We could have some quality family time just after Christmas, when we’ll be much better company.

It won’t be the same and we'll really miss coming over but it's only for this year. I'm sure you understand."

2. Your sister asks you to babysit, but you don't want the responsibility.

"Hey sis, you know I think Lori's a lovely baby and I really appreciate you trust me to look after her but I'd rather not. Honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable with that kind of responsibility. I'll help you find a qualified babysitter though."

3. Your 13 year old son asks you for extra pocket money.

"Hey son, I'd love just to give you the money. But if I did, I'd be a bad father.

You see, a lot of people have money problems later in life and it makes them really unhappy. The only way to avoid it, is to learn how money works when you're young.

If I just give it to you, you won't be any smarter, and you'd like to be smarter, wouldn't you? Instead why don't you earn the money? I'll help you."

4. Your grandmother offers to look after your young daughter. However, you are unhappy with how she and your grandfather spoil her and ignore your pleas not to.

"That's such a kind offer. Rosie really loves the time she spends with you. I'm really sorry, though, I'm going to have to say no this time.

You see, I know how much you love to give Rosie the best time when she's with you and to show you how much you love her.

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