The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in Our Society by Debra Soh

Author:Debra Soh
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Threshold Editions
Published: 2020-08-04T04:00:00+00:00

The Role of Homophobia

Despite the many strides forward made by the gay rights movement, children are being encouraged to transition as a solution to society’s homophobia. Parents undoubtedly notice if a child is gender-atypical. Effeminate sons tend to evoke a stronger negative response than tomboy daughters. With greater public awareness about gender dysphoric children and the difficulties and stigma that they face, parents will receive more admiration and support when raising a transgender child than a child who is gay. For those who are troubled at the thought of having a son who is girly, transitioning offers a promising solution—by allowing a feminine boy to transition, he now presents as a feminine girl. A little boy who enjoys playing with makeup and dolls with his female friends will bring about much less attention and criticism if he, himself, is a girl.

This same logic extends to a child’s sexual orientation and their future romantic partners. On some level, these parents know there is a chance their feminine son will grow up to be sexually attracted to men (and conversely, that a masculine daughter will grow up to be attracted to women). Instead of allowing this to happen, they will be more than happy to facilitate their child’s requests to transition so that, to the outside world, that child will appear heterosexual. An adolescent boy who is attracted to other boys will, upon transitioning to female, appear straight.

What is most disturbing is that these parents will be praised as open-minded, examples of what true love and acceptance looks like, “on the right side of history,” when in actuality, some are homophobic28 and endorsing a repackaged, socially acceptable form of conversion therapy. In some cases, a child may internalize their families’ antigay sentiments, which will add to their desire to transition.

What I want to know is, what’s wrong with having a feminine son or a masculine daughter? Assuming a feminine boy or a masculine girl must really be the opposite sex is supportive of gender stereotypes and backward in thinking. The same line of reasoning extends to our consideration of gender-atypical people to be a different category altogether, like “gender nonbinary” or “genderqueer” (see Chapter 3), instead of expanding the definition of what it means to be a man or woman.

A related theme is the posthumous revising of prominent historical gay figures. For example, Marsha P. Johnson, an American gay rights activist who passed away in 1992, was vocal about being a gay man and a drag queen, but is frequently cited today as being a “trans woman of color.”29 Lesbian erasure is also evident when the efforts of lesbian women are rewritten as belonging to members of the transgender community. The Stonewall riots, which marked the first uprising of the gay community against police interference, were started not by trans women, as is commonly stated, but by Stormé DeLarverie, a biracial lesbian.30

Since I began writing about this issue several years ago, countless gay men have reached out to me, thanking me for speaking out about this.

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