The Architecture of All Abundance by Lenedra J. Carroll

Author:Lenedra J. Carroll
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781577318583
Publisher: New World Library

17

Journey through Fear

May the atmosphere we breathe

breathe fearlessness into us:

Fearlessness on earth

and fearlessness in heaven!

May fearlessness guard us

behind and before.

May fearlessness surround us

above and below!

— The Vedas

(translated by Raimundo Panniker)

I know how overwhelming life can be. Years ago, I had a business experience that threatened to engulf me, capsizing my fragile vessel in serious legal waters. I was a young businesswoman unskilled in the “system,” unprepared for federal auditors, the FBI, and the local district attorney’s office to intimately enter my life. I became front- page news. But the adage “any press is good press” had not yet entered my lexicon. Looking back with compassion, I see the importance of the event and how it changed who I am.

In 1984, broke and recently divorced, I started a stained- and etched-glass business. I designed and created decorative glass for private homes, builders, and local businesses, and soon added an art glass gallery. In a move to further expand the business, we conceived of employing developmentally disadvantaged adults. Hiring special needs employees, I worked with them to create a line of Alaskan gift items, corporate gifts, and artful dinnerware. They were wonderful employees and imaginative artists; their “outside the box” thinking resulted in spontaneous and delightful designs that were very popular in my gallery.

During the process of working with their service agency I learned that this group was entirely dependent on federal and state funds for most aspects of their survival. I determined to create the gift and award line as a separate employee-owned business, with the profits providing financial independence for the disadvantaged employees. Since this had not been done before, we began to create a new model with the encouragement of several national foundations. We presented a business plan and received a large grant from HUD, the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development. It was a happy day when the check arrived for a quarter of a million dollars for the first phase of setting up the business.

This federal grant was administered by a local city office. Our project was a shining example of entrepreneurial humanitarianism in the local community. Everyone was pleased: HUD had created the first grant of this kind, the city had its first such HUD grant, and I had the first grant I had ever received. Here is what I have since learned about first experiences: if it’s everyone’s first time, no one knows what they are doing.

The contract was signed but the promised rules and regulations did not appear. Though everyone was nice, and friendly, there were never answers to my questions about how the grant was to be accounted. I had been running a small mom-and-pop enterprise, and had little business experience or education. In fact, I kept my business receipts in brown paper bags and at year’s end I handed them over to a bookkeeper with my simple ledger for taxes. Understandably, I was a little nervous about what I didn’t know. But the feeling of goodwill on all sides tempered the fear, and everyone’s advice was “Don’t worry,” so I continued with the plan.

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