Stupid White Men-- and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! by Michael Moore

Author:Michael Moore
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Politics
ISBN: 9780060987268
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Published: 2003-01-02T10:00:00+00:00

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How to Survive Global Warming

• Identify common household objects that could serve as flotation devices once the ice caps melt. Give special attention to items made of synthetic materials, which tend to be extremely water resistant.

• Don’t forget to look outside, too—those waterproof chairs with built-in cup holders will float just as well in the ocean as in your backyard pool. Who says catastrophic polar meltdown can’t bee fun?

• Examine topographical maps of your area to determine highest elevation; map out quickest route there. Hold escape drills.

• Invest in Ziploc bags and those yellow waterproof cameras.

• Contact your local YMCA about swimming lessons. Take lessons. Now. Pay special attention to instructions for treading water.

• Change your vacation plans from Florida to Montana. Tell your kids to switch their spring break alcohol binge from Daytona Beach to Boise.

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