Straight Outta Fangton | Book 3 | Vampiraz4Life by Phipps C.T

Author:Phipps, C.T. [Phipps, C.T.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Urban Fantasy | Vampires | Comedy
Publisher: Crossroad Press
Published: 2021-10-26T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

“Mothersucker!” I said, hating how everything kept going to hell so quickly.

Now after having seen me do some awesome Blade-like stunts in the past, you’d think you’d be up for another stunning display of me kicking ass and taking names. Unfortunately, combat was almost always about two things: the ability to shoot first and the ability to shoot accurately. Thoth had once tried to explain the art of Japanese sword dueling, iaijutsu, and it basically amounted to, “whoever slashes first, slashes last.”

Which is an elaborate and lengthy way of saying that the first thing that happened in the fight was I got taken the suck out. Forsythe smacked me across the face with a blow that, had I not been newly elevated to the ranks of Old One, would have taken my head clean off. Note: that’s even with all the power I’d stolen from Renaud. My opinion of the Forsythe immediately rose tremendously as stupid and demon corrupted as the old Templar fop might be, the dude was not weak. Instead of decapitation, Forsythe sent me flying and crashing into a table that smelled of beer and old pizza.

That was when the animatronics attacked. Which, I’d like to pause my description to say, I told you so! The animatronic Halloween decorations had their eyes burn with the fires of Hell as demonic spirits slipped into them and tore them from their places on the stage to begin assaulting the Network personnel present. They mutated and hissed as the infernal energy turned them from cheesy-looking oversized children’s toys into monstrous parodies of themselves. I’m not saying I would have wet my parents if I was still alive—I’d gone through the shit after all—but I felt fully justified in my hatred of the (literal) goddamned things.

You’re not going to let this go, are you? David asked.

No, I’m not! I told him and tried to get up off the ground. That proved to be problematic because my neck was broken. Huh, that had never happened before. Kind of itched a little. Oh, and I couldn’t move anything below my chin. Dammit. Yeah, I wasn’t going to be much use during all this, and I had no idea how long it took to heal something like this. If I was possible. I mean, I was pretty sure it was, but vampirism was like a buffet. No one’s plate was the same.

You use the strangest goddamn metaphors, David thought at me. Change form! See if that helps!

I struggled to do so as the battle raged beside me. Jane tried to shoot Forsythe in the head, ducking under another blow from him, even as she missed that Susan was the real target. Melissa and Elisha both went after Susan, but the Hell Knight casually grabbed the former by her throat before throwing her like a bowling ball at Melvin, who caught her like a baseball. Bentley, piece of crap that he was, slunk away into the shadows and turned invisible.

I hadn’t been aware that was a power he possessed but wished I’d had it.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.