Start With Who: Reveal the Hidden Power of Identity to Create a Purposeful Life by Marcus Marsden

Author:Marcus Marsden
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9789811713545
Publisher: Candid Creation Publishing LLP
Published: 2022-03-15T05:00:00+00:00

TRUE OR FALSE/RIGHT OR WRONG FEEDBACK

This is another very common belief about feedback that does not stand up under the scrutiny of the distinctions that we have been using.

It is true to say that pure assertion-based feedback can be true or false.

Example:

• I noticed that you arrived for the meeting at 9:15 a.m. when we had an agreement to start at 8:30 a.m.

There are two assertions that can be verified here. Did the person arrive at 9:15 a.m. and was there an agreement regarding 8:30 a.m.?

Breakdowns in teams can certainly occur because of disagreements about assertions.

• “No, I arrived at 9:00 a.m. Your watch was wrong.”

• “No, I did not agree to an 8:30 a.m. start.”

Most of the time, this is not what people are referring to, however, when they say feedback can be right or wrong or true or false. Usually, they are referring to statements like this:

• I experience you as arrogant.

• In my experience, you are unreliable.

Hopefully, by now you recognise that these kinds of statements are not either true or false. They are assessments, based on the person’s standards in those domains.

If you hear that feedback, does it really make sense to say to the person giving you the feedback: “No, you are wrong. You do not experience me as arrogant or unreliable”? If that’s their experience, then that’s their experience.

You might want to say that they are wrong and their feedback is mistaken, but that’s just because you hold different standards in this domain. Your different standards result in you having a different assessment, but that does not invalidate the other person’s assessment in any way. You are simply interpreting the same event/s in a different way. Your assessments are no more right/wrong or true/false than theirs are—however much you might want to believe otherwise.

Feedback can be honest or it can be a lie, but it cannot be labelled as true/false or right/wrong (except in the rare cases of pure assertion-based feedback).

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