She Called Me Woman: Nigerias Queer Women Speak by Chitra Nagarajan Azeenarh Mohammed & Rafeeat Aliyu

Author:Chitra Nagarajan Azeenarh Mohammed & Rafeeat Aliyu [Azeenarh Mohammed, Chitra Nagarajan]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

She would scream, scream, scream and then I would realise, Shit, that girl from my school is coming , so I would get up and fix it so that she would not embarrass me in front of my friend. My mother would just be looking at me like, Is this not the same person who refused to move an hour ago? But if nobody was coming to see me, I would not lift my hand. We had house helps growing up. I do not cook till today because we had house helps to do that. The first time I lit a match was in secondary school.

My dad died when I was in Class 6 and even when he was alive, I always told him I was not going to get married. He didn’t understand what I was saying and I didn’t understand why I was saying it, but I always said it. I would never say, ‘Oh I want to get married to a hunk,’ and then say, maybe while watching TV,

‘That is the kind of person I want to marry.’ I realised early on that I was attracted to girls. When I started primary school, towards Primary 4, I was attracted to my best friend and her cousin who were in my class. I cannot remember most of my primary school but these incidents I remember vividly. I still picture what they look like and how our desks were right next to each other. Until secondary school, we were in the same school, the same class, everything.

I initially went to a girls’ day school but I got distracted. I had three girlfriends in SS1. Two of them were best friends and I thought they knew that I was dating both of them. I thought that, because they were best friends, they would talk to each other and tell each other everything. I only found out when one of them asked me accusingly if I was dating the other, and I was like, Oh shit . I said, ‘No I am not.’ That thing spoiled their friendship anyway. There was a guy who was toasting me and I said no to him.

He continued to disturb me and since he was the cousin of one of my best friends, he invited me to his house. So we went to the house and when he went to buy drinks for us, his younger sister went into the bedroom, came back with something she’d written on a paper and put it in my hand. She had written something sexual: she liked me. Before the guy came back, I had already gone into the room, spoken to her and she had even kissed me. She and I were steady for a couple of years but I never slept with him.

I am still in touch with everybody, from the first girl I dated, who is now married with kids. There was a time we were very, very close. I only stopped being close to her because she was trying to hook me up with her husband’s friends.

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