Selective Mutism in Our Own Words by Carl Sutton & Cheryl Forrester

Author:Carl Sutton & Cheryl Forrester [Sutton, Carl and Forrester, Cheryl]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784501143
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2015-12-20T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

Mutism, Family Relationships and the Home Environment

Carl Sutton; Mandy, Janice and Dawn (parents); Cheryl Forrester and Sarah (Carl’s wife and daughter); Kimberly, Vivienne, and Jane

If one were to look at the majority of the literature on SM, besides a few individual case studies (e.g. Motavelli, 1995), it can appear that SM is entirely a school-based anxiety disorder. The truth, of course, is rather different – especially for adults with SM. They don’t go to school after all.

Many children and young adults with SM can’t talk to strangers or people in authority such as doctors or dentists. In fact, many can’t talk outside the home environment at all. As such, the school environment (or rather the teachers and other children in it) is only one situation in which muteness is triggered. Most also can’t speak when trigger individuals (e.g. strangers or seldom-seen relatives) enter their home environment, thus muteness very often encroaches on their home life. Other triggers for muteness can be: the proximity of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, existing family members such as parents and siblings, or new family members such as stepparents or partners/boyfriends/girlfriends of any existing family member.

For children with SM, the incorporation of a stepparent or new partner in the family home can be a particular challenge. Writing about her son, Aaron, Mandy recalls:

I met my husband when Aaron was ten and they got on really well: we went out as a family, did the usual family things. But during his last few weeks at school he talked less. Over the next ten years he spoke less and less to family until the only person he could talk to was me.

Between 14 and 23, I was entirely mute in my home environment. While my circumstances were very different from Aaron’s – as I demonstrated in my life story in the introduction – one primary reason, at that age, for my mutism was the presence of my stepfather. Visitors to the house – particularly my stepfather’s relatives, who I didn’t know – would accuse me of being very rude. Even as a young adult, I was limited to very rudimentary sign language and facial expressions. I became a mime. I would use my two index fingers to make a sign for ‘tea’ when asked what I wanted to drink, for instance. And I would make a swimming gesture to say that I was going for a bath.

Some young adults with SM become mute everywhere, including in their home environment. Janice writes about her son, Owain:

During his ‘A’ Level course I worried that Owain seemed very tired – he would often go to bed straight after dinner. I took him to the doctor, who I remember commented on his lack of eye contact – but at the time I didn’t pick up on this. I said something along the lines of ‘aren’t all teenage lads like that?’ The doctor only suggested making sure he had healthy meals and ‘seeing how things went’. Perhaps an opportunity missed, but I still don’t think there was any way we could have foreseen the future.

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