Redefining Girly by Melissa Atkins Wardy; Jennifer Siebel Newsom

Author:Melissa Atkins Wardy; Jennifer Siebel Newsom
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
Published: 2014-04-04T04:00:00+00:00

Letters from the Experts

Robyn Silverman

Robyn Silverman is a child and teen development specialist, professional speaker, and author who appears regularly on media such as Today and Good Morning America. She is the author of Good Girls Don’t Get Fat: How Weight Obsession Is Messing Up Our Girls and How We Can Help Them Thrive Despite It.

Dear Parents,

When we look around at the thousands of media messages that fly in the faces of our girls each day, the task of “doing something” about it can seem overwhelming. What can we, as parents, say to combat such an aggressive collective ambush? Can we really make a difference?

As it turns out, yes we can.

It’s true that media is an aggressive delivery system of sexualization, objectification, thinspiration, and body bullying. Every time we turn around it seems another ad, another TV show, or another magazine article is slated to get our daughters to buy into yet another way they are not good enough, thin enough, or pretty enough just the way they are. It’s normal to feel frustrated and even defenseless against the rigor of these messages. But I’m telling you, as parents, we are more powerful than we realize.

We understand our children best. We demonstrate our values consistently, persistently, and insistently. It is we who see our children every day in routine life, but it is also us who they seek out in the wee hours of the night when things go wrong. It is our voices they hear when they are about to make a choice—right or wrong—and our actions they often mimic when they go out into the world.

This may seem scary, but it can be quite empowering. It means that we can speak our truth and help to create the recording that our daughters play in their heads throughout the day when they look in the mirror, walk the halls of their schools, and go out on dates. It means that we can show them what it looks like to be confident, assertive, and proud of who we are.

The question is, how can we deflect rather than reflect what society at large is dishing out? I say, if the media is going to be loud, be louder. If her friends offer a negative opinion, provide a positive perspective. If her own voice drags her down, pull her up. Commit to making one small change, as it is often slight alternations in approach, wording, or actions that can make the biggest difference.

She may act as if she isn’t listening. She may tell you it doesn’t matter. She may even argue with you about what you are saying. But, again, it will be your example she follows and in the wee hours of the night, it will be your voice she hears in the privacy of her own head telling her she is amazing just the way she is.

Warmest regards,

Dr. Robyn Silverman

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