Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

Author:Maxwell Maltz
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2010-11-02T07:00:00+00:00

THE FAILURE MECHANISM 137

Thinking of yourself in terms of absolutes induces insecurity.

The insecure person feels that he should be "good"—period. He should be "successful"—period. He should be

"happy," competent, poised—period. These are all worthy goals. But they should be thought of, at least in their absolute sense, as goals to be achieved, as something to reach for, rather than as "shoulds." "

Since man is a goal-striving mechanism, the self realizes itself fully only when man is moving forward towards something. Remember our comparison with the bicycle in a previous chapter? Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward—or seeking. When you think of yourself as having attained the goal, you become static, and you lose the security and equilibrium you had when you were moving towards something. The man who is convinced that he is "good"

in the absolute sense, not only has no incentive to do better, but he feels insecure because he must defend the sham and pretense. "The man who thinks he has 'arrived' has about used up his usefulness to us," the president of a large business said to me. When someone called Jesus

"good" he admonished him, "Why callest thou me good?

There is but one good and that is the Father." St. Paul is generally regarded as a "good" man, yet his own attitude was, "I count myself not to have achieved . . . but I press on toward the goal."

Keep Your Feet on Solid Ground It is insecure, trying to stand on the top of a pinnacle;'"

Mentally, get down off your high-horse and you will feel more secure.

This has very practical applications. It explains the

"underdog psychology" in sports. When a championship team begins to think of itself as "the champions," they no longer have something to fight for, but a status to defend.

The champions are defending something, trying to prove 138 PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS

something. The underdogs are fighting to do something and often bring about an upset.

I used to know a boxer who fought well until he won the championship. In his next fight he lost the championship and looked bad doing so. After losing the title, he fought well again and regained the championship. A wise manager said to him, "You can fight as well as champion as when you're the contender if you'll remember one thing. When you step into that ring you aren't defending]

the championship—you're fighting for it. You haven't got it—you've laid it on the line when you crawl through the [

ropes."

The mental attitude which engenders insecurity is a

"way." It is a way of substituting sham and pretense for reality. It is a way of proving to yourself and others your superiority. But it is self-defeating. If you are perfect and superior now—then there is no need to fight, grapple and try. In fact, if you are caught trying real hard, it may be considered evidence that you are not superior—so you

"don't try." You lose your fight—your Will to Win.

(4) LONELINESS:

All of us are lonely at times. Again, it is a natural penalty we pay for being human and individual.

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