Praying for Healing While Planning a Funeral by Rosey Brausen

Author:Rosey Brausen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BroadStreet Publishing Group LLC

GOD FAITHFULLY SUSTAINS US WITH ACTS OF KINDNESS AND A LITTLE REPRIMAND

Gary’s increasing relationship would prove important as we went deeper into the chemo treatments. Chemo robbed Gary of his body and his ability to mentally process. The previous entries took us days to write, and they were at the beginning of his journey. By the last chemo treatment, his thoughts were often garbled and out of order. In the cancer world they call this chemo-brain.

For the kids and me it was the most difficult thing we had to watch him suffer through. By the end of his last chemo treatment, Gary went from benching a hundred and eighty-five pounds to hardly being able to lift five-pound dumbbells, from completing a duathlon to taking an hour to walk around the block. He had lost a total of twenty-five pounds, which I kindly keep for him around my middle.

His bipolar outbursts were the worst to handle. God was faithful to even use his erratic emotional state to stretch Gary and, dare I say, myself, but in a completely different manner.

One day Gary and I went out for a walk around the block, which is exactly one mile long. We had been walking for almost an hour, so you can get a good idea of the pace we were going. You can also probably get a picture of my husband’s drive.

As we rounded the corner toward our home, we passed the house of our dear friends Linda and Larry. Over the previous year, our families had a series of miscommunications. Both our families were struggling in our own respective ways, and we had allowed little misunderstandings to build up over time. As we passed by their house, Gary said spitefully, “Look, I bet Linda is looking out her window happy that I am suffering and sick.”

I was shocked at what came out of his mouth. My reply was firm and swift, “Gary Brausen, I don’t care if you have cancer or not. You are never allowed to entertain such thoughts or utter them about anyone. That is simply the meanest thing you could say about anybody, and especially Linda! She would never think nor say something so mean spirited. This is just not you, and in the name of Jesus Christ this grudging spirit can just get behind you!”

Gary was silent for a few more steps, but I could tell by how he held his head he was still holding onto past hurts and they were festering. When we got home, Gary sat down exhausted by our walk and his emotional outburst. He was struggling in so many ways. My heart was breaking for him. And yet I was also a little ticked off at what he had said.

He was so weak and out of sorts. I started mentally tallying what he had eaten up to that point and it wasn’t a lot, “Gary what are you hungry for? You need to eat something.” His only reply was that all of the sudden he had an intense craving for fresh-cut, cold watermelon.

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