Never Say Moo to a Bull by David Henry Wilson

Author:David Henry Wilson [Wilson, David Henry]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781509818792
Publisher: Pan Macmillan UK

Jeremy James didn’t like the silence. The wasp’s buzz was nasty, but its silence was nastier. For all he knew, the wasp might be sitting just a couple of inches away, watching him and planning to sting him just when he wasn’t looking. At least when it was whizzing around, you knew where it was, but if you didn’t know where it was, it could be anywhere. It could even be on Jeremy James himself! Jeremy James had a quick look down at his body and legs. Then he twisted round to look at the back of his legs. No wasp. He humped his shoulders up and down. No buzz. All the same, he didn’t feel safe. Very slowly and carefully, he padded round the room, slipper held high and eyes darting from side to side.

The wasp was not on the window. The wasp was not on the settee. The wasp was not on Mummy. The wasp was not on either armchair. The wasp was not on the sideboard. The wasp was not . . . but it was . . . it was there, on the mantelpiece. To be precise, it was on the vase of flowers on the mantelpiece, waggling its feelers and ducking its silly head. And it hadn’t seen Jeremy James. It had no idea that it had been spotted, and it had no idea that Jeremy James was now creeping up behind it, slipper raised and heart pounding. Jeremy James padded closer and closer, an inch at a time, until he could actually see the wasp’s black eyes and yellow cheeks, and its striped shopping-bag body quivering a little behind it. This was the most dangerous wasp that ever lived, and the safety of the world depended now on Jeremy James and his slipper. The great hunter paused, gathered all his strength together, and then in one swift movement brought his mighty weapon down on the back of his deadly enemy . . .

What happened next came as a terrible shock to Jeremy James, to Mummy, and above all to the wasp. There was a shattering crash as the vase came tumbling down from the mantelpiece and smashed to bits on the hearth below. In no time there were flowers and pools of water all over the living-room carpet, and Mummy had leapt off the settee with a face as white as a snowdrop.

‘What was that?’ she cried. ‘What on earth was that?’

And then she saw what on earth it was, and she saw Jeremy James standing over the bits of vase and the mess of flowers and the puddles of water, and he was holding a slipper in his hand, and he was looking up at her with eyes that were very round and rather frightened.

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